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109: The Catastrophizing Kindergarten Teacher
109: The Catastrophizing Kindergarten Teacher

Episode 109

How do I stop whistling? How do you not get burned out? How do I get rid of a death zit? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearha…

8 years, 6 months ago

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108: We Would All Be Flounders
108: We Would All Be Flounders

Episode 108

What do I say to my blind date? How do I get my mom to call me less frequently? Are you supposed to ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage?…

8 years, 6 months ago

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107: skREvEL!
107: skREvEL!

Episode 107

Why do I feel safer with the lights on? Why can't my bathtub be in my living room? Am I in danger of being electrocuted? And more! Turtles All the Wa…

8 years, 6 months ago

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106: Cannibal Mermaids
106: Cannibal Mermaids

Episode 106

How far can you get making only right turns? What's the proper response to being constantly serenaded? Does fire have mass? And more! Email us: hanka…

8 years, 6 months ago

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105: Fancy Diving
105: Fancy Diving

Episode 105

Is cake salty? How do I get alone time at a party without a cigarette? Where is the rest of An Imperial Affliction? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@g…

8 years, 7 months ago

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104: Dove Quivering
104: Dove Quivering

Episode 104

Why am I afraid of something I know doesn’t exist? Can I avoid scurvy by sticking my arm in a giant vat of orange juice? What is proper etiquette for…

8 years, 7 months ago

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103: There Are No Boxes (w/ Gaby Dunn!)
103: There Are No Boxes (w/ Gaby Dunn!)

Episode 103

What is a mug without a handle? When's the right time to get a Saturn tattoo? Should I come out when I'm not ready? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@g…

8 years, 7 months ago

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102: The Friend Bucket
102: The Friend Bucket

Episode 102

Could you take down a coyote with your arms? Should people be allowed to put things in someone else's Netflix queue? How do I cope with social anxiet…

8 years, 7 months ago

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101: Knit like a Mofo
101: Knit like a Mofo

Episode 101

What would happen if all mosquitoes die? What do I do about my surprise YouTube celebrity boyfriend? What's the truth about John Lennon's "Imagine"? …

8 years, 8 months ago

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100th Episode Extravaganza Spectacular!!!
100th Episode Extravaganza Spectacular!!!

Episode 100

Who was the first joshing Josh? Do bugs understand glass? How do I learn to chill? And more! probablysignedturtles.com Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.co…

8 years, 8 months ago

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