Episode Details

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 147

Why is it so hard to be honest about your drinking even with yourself? In this episode, Anna Donaghey explores the real reason vulnerability feels so impossible, especially when questioning your relationship with alcohol. Drawing from both personal experience and the groundbreaking research of Brené Brown, Anna dives into why the moment we admit to ourselves, "I've been wondering about my drinking," is so terrifying, and why opening up is the first step towards real change.

Anna unpacks the subtle and not-so-subtle ways we armour up busyness, perfectionism, people pleasing, and of course, alcohol itself. She shows how our culture’s black-and-white labels ("normal" versus "problem") keep us silent and stuck, and shares practical exercises for opening two doors: first, being honest with yourself, and then, speaking it out loud to someone else. Full of gentle insight and actionable tools, this episode is for anyone ready to get curious, let go of shame, and start moving forward.

Highlights:

00:00 Intro: Why questioning alcohol feels so hard

01:28 The 3am wakeup and uncomfortable questions

03:20 The six-word sentence: “I’ve been wondering about my drinking”

05:32 What vulnerability is (and isn’t): Brené Brown’s definition

07:11 The armour we use: humour, busyness, perfectionism, alcohol

12:11 Why our language puts us in boxes (“normal” vs “problem”)

13:42 Alcohol use as a spectrum, not a binary

15:22 The fear of what others will think

16:32 The first door: letting yourself have the thought

18:26 How we bargain, compare, and distract to avoid honesty

22:25 Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion

25:36 The moment Anna got curious and things started to shift

30:09 Alcohol, health, and why it’s okay to start exploring

31:06 The second door: saying it out loud to someone else

32:02 Why shame thrives in secrecy

33:03 How to make speaking up easier

34:42 Anna’s first honest conversation with her husband

42:14 Dan Sullivan’s 4 Cs rule: why courage comes before confidence

42:50 Bringing it all together: two doors to change

44:18 Next week’s episode: the power of community.

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Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources

Join the The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab, Anna’s ‘inner circle’ on Substack, find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

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About the host Anna:

Anna is a certi