Episode Details

Why does alcohol seem to have a different, more intense pull for some people - and could undiagnosed ADHD be the missing piece of the puzzle? In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Matt Wing, a midlife mentor who spent over 30 years in a cycle of high achievement and high-functioning drinking, before a late ADHD diagnosis reframed everything.

Together, they explore the misunderstood relationship between ADHD and alcohol use, bust the myth that it’s a simple willpower problem, and break down the real, neurological drivers behind compulsive drinking.

Highlights:

00:00 Intro: Meet Matt Wing, midlife mentor, exploring ADHD and alcohol

01:13 Decades of "normal" drinking and the invisible exhaustion under it

04:45 Compulsive self-fixing, failed solutions, and obsessive searching

06:12 The pink book, ADHD traits, and why self-help didn't always land

10:21 ADHD as a chronic dopamine deficit

11:08 Instant dopamine hits: why nothing's enough

12:44 Why attempts to cut down usually fail: it's not a "willpower" issue

15:03 Alcohol's social acceptance hides its true addictiveness

18:02 ADHD drinking: urgency, intensity, and chasing the unattainable

23:19 Why 4pm is the real problem, not "having a drink problem"

24:16 Racing head syndrome: alcohol as the only "off switch" that works

29:19 Hyperfocus, the evening crash, and alcohol as relief not reward

31:13 Rejection sensitivity and rejection-sensitive dysphoria in ADHD

33:28 Why social drinking feels so necessary (and so hard to quit)

34:38 "Time blindness": why the ADHD brain struggles with "forever”

43:04 The missed ADHD generation: making sense of the past

46:22 New ways to soothe the nervous system

51:40 Growth mindset: you're not stuck, and social skills can be learned

53:37 ADHD as a superpower if you channel it right

56:40 Where to find Matt Wing and resources to get support.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: