Episode Details

What if the real reason you feel stuck around drinking isn't a lack of willpower or information, but simply that your thinking can't yet see another way? Anna Donaghey is joined by Doug Fleener, author of "Start with What If" and creator of the "What If Rule", a simple, three-step practice for creating new perspectives in real time.

Drawing on his own journey from addiction to leadership roles at Bose Corporation, Doug shares how change really happens: through interruption, curiosity, and asking different questions. Together, he and Anna explore why curiosity trumps willpower, and how tiny shifts - like asking, "What if I just didn't drink today?" can unlock entirely new possibilities.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Welcome to The Big Drink Rethink

00:45 What if what keeps you stuck isn’t willpower?

01:01 Meet Doug Fleener

02:14 The “What If Rule”: change in real time, not ‘someday’

03:23 Doug’s 30,000ft wake-up call

06:09 The power of interruptions and rock bottoms

07:11 Why it feels easier to change your state than change your life

15:15 The real impact of asking “What if I didn’t drink just today?”

16:21 Why avoiding forever/never thinking makes change possible

17:47 “I’ll tackle it when I’m ready” - and how action actually creates clarity

23:10 The What If Rule explained: Pause, Question, Go

31:43 Why one pause matters even if you still have the drink

33:13 How identity, habit, and depletion drive drinking autopilot

37:52 Future journaling: setting intentions for who you want to be

41:12 Drinking as a default off-switch for discomfort

43:08 How to sit with feelings (instead of pushing them down)

45:42 “Nobody ever wishes they drank more”

46:47 The permission to start small

49:12 You don’t need a plan, just the next question.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

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