Episode Details

What does it really mean to “show up” in your life and how is that different from simply “turning up”? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey explores one of the most honest motivations she hears from people rethinking alcohol: the desire to be present. She shares why presence goes so much deeper than physical attendance. Alcohol is often used as an emotional buffer, and what’s possible when you start showing up as the unfiltered version of yourself at home, at work, and in every room you enter.

Anna offers a powerful reframe: real presence is not just a skill for parties, but a life skill that transforms relationships and the texture of daily life. This episode is packed with gentle invitations to experiment with being genuinely present for yourself and the people who matter most.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Intro: Today we’re exploring the quest for true presence

01:32 The difference between turning up and showing up

03:41 How alcohol acts as a costume, buffering us from authenticity

07:05 Alcohol, performance, and the “gap” we’re trying to bridge

10:55 Children and loved ones can feel when you’re only “half there”

11:54 A new version of attention is possible

13:13 The surprising gifts of ordinary, real-time connection

14:19 Why social events can feel the hardest

17:06 Learning to trust your own presence

20:06 Reframing sobriety: not deprivation, but a richer experience

23:26 Real presence includes awkwardness and dullness

24:14 Letting your actual energy lead is both vulnerable and enough

27:35 Real confidence versus performed confidence

30:07 Showing up is a gift to others, not just yourself

34:37 Final question: will you turn up or show up?

34:46 What’s coming next: unpacking the cultural architecture of alcohol and social life.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn:

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