Episode Details

A judge rolling their eyes at a screenshot is, according to Sean Valentine, the good outcome. The bad ones range from a cease-and-desist order to a finding of contempt. That is what can happen when you post about your active case on social media.

Sean Valentine is a Canadian family law attorney who has represented clients across a range of family matters, with a particular soft spot for helping self-represented litigants feel confident in court. His view on sharing your story publicly while a case is open is unambiguous: don't.

In this conversation, Sean lays out the concrete risks. Posting can inadvertently waive solicitor-client privilege. It creates a permanent, screenshottable record that the other side's lawyer can file. And a judge who has told you to stop can escalate to contempt, with penalties from fines to a struck pleading. He and Lisa also get into surreptitious recording, the secret audio people capture hoping for a gotcha, and why courts tend to give it little weight, along with why a "private" Facebook group is not private at all.

Sean talks through what to weigh before publishing a book about your experience once a case has ended, why a genuine support group beats venting into a feed, and why you cannot let the fear of being sued keep you from raising real issues of abuse and coercive control with your lawyer. His throughline: do not give the other side anything they can sink their talons into.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• Why posting about an active case can waive solicitor-client privilege and build a paper trail against you
• What a judge can actually do about it, from a cease-and-desist to contempt
• Why secret recordings usually carry little weight and make you look bad
• Why a "private" Facebook group offers no real privacy
• What to weigh before publishing a book about your experience once the case is over
• Why a real support group beats venting into a public feed
• How to keep from handing the other side anything they can use

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 The topic: sharing your story while your case is active
3:00 Gag orders and publication bans, and how common they are
5:00 How posting can waive privilege and build a paper trail
7:00 The consequences: from eye rolls to contempt
11:00 Secret recordings, and why judges give them little weight
15:00 Why a "private" Facebook group isn't private
17:00 Support groups vs. venting, and writing a book after it's over
21:00 After the case: defamation threats, and not living in fear of a lawsuit

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Sean Valentine at OV Family Law: https://ovfamilylaw.com/
🔗 Sean Valentine, co-founder of I Do Prenup: https://idoprenup.com/

🎧 More with Sean Valentine on this podcast
Ep 86: Unbundled Legal Help Without a Full Retainer
Ep 100: How a Child's Voice Reaches the Judge

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.