Episode Details

If you are heading into mediation with a high-conflict ex, you are probably bracing to be steamrolled, or read wrong by someone who has no sense of what you have lived through. Dr. Barb Hughson is the kind of mediator who starts from that lived experience instead of assuming it away.

Dr. Barb Hughson is a mediator and therapist with decades of experience, and a returning guest on the Been There Got Out podcast. Chris and Lisa count her a friend and colleague. Her work is trauma-informed, which means she begins with how fear and past harm shape the way people actually show up in a room, rather than treating everyone across the table as a calm, rational negotiator.

This conversation is about why that lens matters when you are trying to resolve anything with someone who does not negotiate in good faith. Empathy, in Barb's hands, is a working tool rather than a soft add-on: it is how she reads what is really happening between two people and keeps a process from tipping into the same dynamics that brought them there. It is a warm, practical listen from a guest the founders trust.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• What "trauma-informed" means in mediation, and why it changes how a session goes
• Why empathy is a practical tool in a high-conflict process, not just a nice-to-have
• How past harm can shape the way a parent presents in mediation
• Why a mediator's experience with high-conflict dynamics matters when the other side isn't cooperating
• What to look for when you're choosing a mediator or therapist for a high-conflict situation

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183

🎧 More with Dr. Barb Hughson on this podcast
Ep 19: Mediation and the Child's Voice
Ep 106: Will My Kids Be Okay?
Ep 113: Kids, Boundaries, and Trauma
Ep 143: Steadying Kids in Divorce

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.