Episode Details

SPEAKERS

Suzanne Noble, Peter Marriott

Suzanne Noble  00:09

Welcome to Sex Advice for Seniors. So I'm Suzanne, and I'm 61.

Peter Marriott  00:18

I'm Peter, and I'm 61 for another three weeks. About four weeks. So 62 very soon.

Suzanne Noble  00:34

And we are here to talk about sex. When you're older.

Peter Marriott  00:49

Yeah. Well, apparently.

Suzanne Noble  00:50

So let's talk about sex. We've got this list that we created a very extensive list, because of course, we are both very, very seriously interested in this topic.

Peter Marriott  00:58

And unqualified, completely...

Suzanne Noble  01:01

unqualified, except that both of us have had quite a bit of experience. Some more than others. Possibly me. And you are just trying to catch up.

Peter Marriott  01:13

Yep.

Suzanne Noble  01:14

And you've got a long way to go. But that's okay. Because you still got time,

Peter Marriott  01:20

It's quality rather than quantity. Well, that's what we'd like to think.

Suzanne Noble  01:25

Sometimes it is quantity. Quantity can be quality.

Peter Marriott  01:31

Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's hope so. 

Suzanne Noble  01:36

Well, for your sake.

So we've got these topics for discussion. And I thought, let's just start with the first one, shall we?

Peter Marriott  01:41

Feelings of inadequacy and how to overcome them.

Suzanne Noble  01:45

God sounds serious, doesn't it? Feelings of inadequacy and how to overcome them? Yeah. And why did we come up with that topic?

Peter Marriott  01:53

Do you know I can't remember? I think probably because we've been talking about how people feel inadequate about their sexual experience and feel as though there's a lot still to be gained in terms of experience, and how do they get that? And if they don't have it, you know, are they adequate lovers? And so you feel bad about yourself and blah, blah, blah? And all those sorts of questions. I think that's where that came from.

Suzanne Noble  02:25

I think it originally came from because we were talking about the fact that sometimes when people talk about older people and sex, just generally, they tend to focus on the negatives, don't they? Yeah, they tend to focus on the fact that men can't get it up anymore. And they tend to focus on the fact that women have dry vaginas, and so it tends to be quite derogatory, actually, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.  And I certainly know that there are conversations that we've had in the Advantages of Age group about really is it even important anymore. Is sex even important anymore? And I personally think it's okay if you don't want it. But equally, if you do want it, and you're getting messages chucked at you from the media predominantly that make you feel that you shouldn't want it anymore.

Peter Marriott  03:22

Or that somehow it's yucky and inappropriate for people of a certain age to be having sex at all. Certainly, young people think that I mean, I know it's become a bit of a joke, but when young people think about their parents or their grandparents, I'm sure that doesn't even enter into their heads, that they might still be sexual beings, fully autonomous sexual beings who get up to stuff. The messages coming from everywhere outside are fairly negative about sex.

Suzanne Noble  03:59

And I know that I've had partners in the past that have felt uncomfortable about their erections. And when I've suggested that there might be some pharmace