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Ep. 83: How to Change People Pleasing Behavior

Episode 83 Published 3 years, 8 months ago
Description

People pleasing is different from cooperation. 

People pleasing is different from cooperation. 

Cooperation = connection, no loss of autonomy, requires frustration tolerance

People Pleasing = abandoning self because it is too scary or uncomfortable to regulate through the rupture in the relationship.  

People pleasing is a stress-response. It’s a behavior that the “Trickster” possum uses when the possum pathway is activated.  

If you aren’t sure what I mean by possum pathway, check out this podcast/blog: https://robyngobbel.com/possumbrain

I also describe the owl, watchdog, and possum brain in my free eBook, Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior

Some folks call this people-pleasing behavior “fawn.”

I call this “trickster” behavior.

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/PeoplePleasing

Underneath every behavior is something happening in the body, specifically in the nervous system. When we support the body first, behavior often begins to shift. Even for kids who don't have a sensory processing disorder! 

Join my March 24th webinar at 8pm eastern- Sensory Strategies for Dysregulated Kids with Baffling Behaviors

RobynGobbel.com/SensoryWebinar

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Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!

Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY

Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026

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Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

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