Episode Details

People pleasing is different from cooperation. 

Cooperation = connection, no loss of autonomy, requires frustration tolerance

People Pleasing = abandoning self because it is too scary or uncomfortable to regulate through the rupture in the relationship.  

People pleasing is a stress-response. It’s a behavior that the “Trickster” possum uses when the possum pathway is activated.  

If you aren’t sure what I mean by possum pathway, check out this podcast/blog: https://robyngobbel.com/possumbrain

I also describe the owl, watchdog, and possum brain in my free eBook, What Behavior Really Is, which you can download HERE.  

Some folks call this people-pleasing behavior “fawn.”

I call this “trickster” behavior.  

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
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