Episode Details

Last week, you heard the first part of this live therapy session with Anita, a woman struggling with severe social anxiety. David and Dr. Stirling Moorey, from London, are co-therapists. Last week included the T = Testing and E = Empathy portions of the session. Today you will hear the A = Assessment of Resistance, M = Methods, along with end of session Testing and follow-up.

A = Assessment of Resistance

David asked Anita if she was ready to roll up her sleeves and get to work, or if she needed more time to talk and be listened to and supported.

Because she was eager to get to work, David asked the "Miracle Cure Question:" He said, "What would happen in today's session if it went really great and knocked your socks off?

She said that her negative feelings and self-critical thoughts would be greatly diminished.

David asked the Magic Button Question, and she said she'd press it for sure!

David said he had no Magic Button, but did have some powerful techniques that could be super helpful, but was reluctant to use them. Anita was puzzled, and this led to Positive Reframing. He encouraged Anita to ask the three questions about each Negative Thought and feeling on her Daily Mood Logs:

1. Why might this thought or feeling be perfectly appropriate, given your circumstances?
2. What are some advantages, or benefits, of this negative thought or feeling?
3. What does this negative thought or feeling show about your core values that's positive, beautiful, or even awesome?

Although puzzling at first, Anita soon got into the swing of it and came up with the following list of Positives.

1. If I tell myself "I have nothing to say" in a group, I'll listen more and learn more.
2. I won't risk speaking and making a fool of myself. So my social anxiety is really a source of self-protection, or even a form of self-love.
3. My self-criticisms show I have high standards.
4. My high standards motivate me to work hard and do my best.
5. My self-doubt shows that I'm humble.
6. My concerns about being judged show that I care for the people in the group and want to have positive relationships with them.
7. Shows I'm not pushy, dominating, or arrogant.
8. When I tell myself that "They are all better than me," it shows that I have room to learn from all the people who are ahead of me.
9. This shows I want to grow and do better.
10. This shows I'm honest and realistic about my limits and flaws.
11. This shows I'm accountable.
12. This gives me "vicarious joy" in the accomplishments of others, a Buddhist concept.
13. This thought shows that I can appreciate the gifts of others, which is a gift to them.
14. When I tell myself, "I wasted a year," it shows that I value hard work, learning, and dong a good job.
15. It shows that I value what other people think, and take their criticisms seriously.
16. It shows that I want to be seen for who I am!

David pointed out that there were many positives on the list, and if we had time many more could be added, but asked Anita if the positives were:

• Real?
• Important?
• Powerful?

She gave enthusiastic "yes" answers to all three questions, and then david asked the Pivot Question: Why in the world would you want to press that Magic button, because if you do all these positives will go down the drain, right along with you negative thoughts and feelings

Anita suddenly didn't want to press the Magic Button, but agree to use the Magic Dial and lower her goals for each negative feeling, which you can see if you click here.

This concluded this part of the session, which brought us to the M of TEAM.

M