Unpickled with Jean McCarthy

Episode 103

If you have been sober for a while and are ever tempted to drink just “one glass of wine” then it’s worth remembering this well known saying "You can change a cucumber into a pickle, but you can’t turn a pickle back into a cucumber” – in other words once we have crossed that line into alcohol dependence there is not going back – we must go forward and create a life we don’t want to escape from.

My guest this week was obviously inspired by the pickle analogy as her blog is called “Unpickled” and I’m sure many of you have listened to her awesome podcast the “Bubble Hour” which has been going for almost a decade.

I began by asking Jean to introduce herself

In this Episode

Jean was a teenage drinker, going to bars at 15 years old as she looked older
She got married and had her children young – got into the mommyjuice culture
Her drinking escalated throughout her 20’s and 30’s
By the time she got to her 40’s her children were teenagers, her career was demanding and wine was her “off” button
She went from one glass to two to a few – to opening a bottle the moment she got home from work
Like many of us she would wake up and think “I won’t drink today but by lunchtime that thought was gone”
Since her teenage years she had an inkling that alcohol was not doing her any favours but by her 30’s she was trying to make a change and setting “the rules” which of course she promptly broke
She finally quit at 43 – which led us to discuss the Tempest Study - that the average time it takes people – “from realising they had a problem to actually quitting” was eleven years.
One of the things that kept Jean stuck in her drinking was that she was labouring under the misconception that one had to reach “rock bottom” before making a change – a myth that keeps many from ditching the booze
That myth kept Jean from going to AA – not only was she worried about being recognised but she also felt that she couldn’t fit – that she would be seen as a lightweight because she hadn’t lost everything
So let’s take a moment to debunk the rock bottom fallacy – if your drinking is on your mind and you have a suspicion that you would be healthier and happier without it then just do it. No need to keep digging…
There has never been a better time to give up drinking. There are many online sobriety groups like Tribe Sober, not to mention a plethora of alcohol free drinks. Go to tribesober.com and check us out if you’d like to meet other people who have decided to avoid rock bottom and ditch the booze before they get there!
So Jean didn’t go to AA but she did confide in one friend and that made all the difference – she got empathy from that friend and it made her accountable.
Sometimes just telling one person is all it takes – so if you’re stuck then that’s a great place to start and if you feel there is no one in your friendship circle who would understand than check out tribesober.com and join our international community
To beat those early cravings Jean had a whole list of things to do when she felt a craving – for example she would eat an ice cream, or orange slices or take the dog around the block or drive to the store. Doing her grocery shopping in the evenings took some of the pressure of her schedule the next day.
She started her unpickled blog – anonymously like Clare Pooley – and just like Claire she got responses and realised that she was not alone in this
With the perspective of a decade of sobriety Jean is able to look back and see that for the first 2 years she was “white knuckling” it
During those early years she stayed sober because she was ashamed of the possibility of relapse – that stopped her healing and also prevented her from experiencing the “fullness of recovery” as she puts it
Jean was on this journey alone for the f

Published on 3 years, 8 months ago

Podcast Episode Details

Unpickled with Jean McCarthy