Episode Details

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!

My guest today has an inspirational story of recovery.  After a difficult start in life and a decade of drug taking Nikki began her recovery journey.  Her childhood was traumatic and Nikki turned to drugs at an early age.

In spite of her efforts to develop a career in dance and drama her addiction deepened during her 20's.

She checked into her first rehab in her late 20’s and began the long journey to recovery – a journey that would lead her to discover her purpose in life.

In this episode

• Nikkis childhood was not an easy one – her parents drank and they also moved around the country a lot, which resulted in her changing schools 7 times.
• Unsurprisingly she felt like an outsider and struggled to fit in – never feeling comfortable in her own skin as she put it
• She was certainly an early starter and tasted her first beer at the age of 9 and at 13 she was drinking and smoking marijuana.
• Due to her parents drinking habits Nikki felt more of a pull towards hard drugs – and at the age of 16 her boyfriend introduced her to Mandrax and Crack Cocaine.
• With her current knowledge of addiction Nikki is able to trace her substance abuse back to her childhood trauma – as she puts it “her addiction started long before she picked up a drug”
• Many of you will be familiar with the work of Dr Gabor Mate who has done extensive research into childhood trauma and the link with addiction – he says

Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to feel, to grow and to develop. It pains you and now you’re acting out of pain.

• Nikki also understands that she was using drugs as a coping mechanism as she was unable to regulate her emotions.
• Her search for belonging began in earnest at the age of 17 when she left school – she rebelled against anything structured as her education had left her feeling like a failure
• She studied dance and drama and got involved in the club scene where she felt a sense of belonging for the first time. She was organising trance parties, making good money and everybody loved her.
• Now and again Nikki would try to get a regular job but it never worked out and just confirmed her belief that she didn’t fit into the “normal” world.
• At the age of 28 she got pregnant and knew that this would have to be her turning point – however motherhood caused her to feel a lot of guilt and shame and in fact she stepped up her drug use to cope.
• When her son was 1 Nikki lost custody which reaffirmed her feelings of inadequacy.
• This proved to be her rock bottom which was a catalyst for her long road to recovery – starting with her first rehab – at this first rehab she just felt very angry and it would take several years and 5 more rehabs until she finally came into recovery
• We agreed that rehab was pointless if you were not ready – being “sent” to rehab does not work and too much rehab results in being institutionalised – never being able to function in the outside world.
• Six months into her final rehab which was a one year program Nikki had what she describes as a spiritual awakening – a feeling that the years of hell she had been through had given her a purpose.
• She already had all the tools from her various rehab stays but finally began to select the tools that she felt were right for her – we agreed that we all have to “do the work” but of course our work will vary depending on our background.
• She regained custody of her son and leaned into the role of being a mother
• Nikki also began to developing her career as a recovery coach by working with David Collins, the founder of Ubuntu Addiction Community. I interviewed David for the podcast a couple of weeks ago so watch this space to learn more about his work.
• Nikki is a recovery coach her