Episode Details

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation” (Henry Thoreau). 

Therapist Simon Roe has based his life’s work on helping men live an authentic life. After himself going through a period of quiet desperation in his mid-thirties, Simon went on to help men break the silence, find “the song inside” and overcome their experiences of depression, violence and loneliness. 

Simon has also worked extensively with boys and their fathers to create rites of passage that can help boys claim a strong, authentic sense of their developing manhood.

Simon Roe originally trained as a body psychotherapist, and is also a co-leader of the Mandorla Men’s Rites of Passage programme. He has worked extensively with perpetrators of domestic violence, and is a Respect approved trainer and supervisor. Simon has completed a foundation course in Process Oriented Psychology. 

Simon and Andrew also discuss the idea of answering “the call to adventure”, an idea powerfully captured in this poem by Rainer Maria Rilke:

Sometimes A Man Stands Up During Supper

Sometimes a man stands up during supper

and walks outdoors, and keeps on walking,

because of a church that stands somewhere in the East.

And his children say blessings on him as if he were dead.

And another man, who remains inside his own house,

dies there, inside the dishes and in the glasses,

so that his children have to go far out into the world

toward that same church , which he forgot.

Follow Up

I'll be attending a workshop on masculinity in times of change and crisis with Simon Roe & his colleague William Ayot in Feb/Mar 2023. I'd love you to join us. Details are here

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Visit Simon Roe’s website 

Learn about the Kingfisher Project, a community dedicated to rites of passage for boys aged 13-16. 

Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

Read Andrew’s thoughts on what to do if you or your partner feel like you’re in the throes of what society would call a midlife crisis

Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall