A Mother’s Love with Gabi Lowe

Episode 89

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!

My guest today is a familiar name to many South Africans. Gabi Lowe came into the public eye back in 2015 as she fought for her daughters life.

Gabi has written a book about this extraordinary period – a book called “Get Me to 21” which was the name of a campaign led by her daughter Jenna as she invited the public to become organ donors and attend her 21st birthday party.

Tragically Jenna died before reaching this milestone.

This is a story full of pain – but also full of courage. The courage of Gabi, her husband and daughter Kristi – and of course Jenna herself.

It’s also a story of resilience – Gabi explains how she has managed to survive a parents worst nightmare and rebuild her life. A life full of purpose which lives alongside the aching loss of her beautiful daughter.

In this episode

As she took us through the heartbreaking development of Jenna's illness we discussed the moment when Gabi felt her role shift from that of a hopeless observer who just wanted to cry – to that of a Momcologist who was determined to fight on her daughter's behalf – she discovered the lioness inside.
A lioness which kept fighting with Jenna all the way – and then re-emerged during that terrifying beach attack 3 years later.
Gabi found it very humbling to ask for help and talked of how activating their first fundraiser left her in tears. But then it led her to reflect on the “virtuous circle” as she discovered that:-

Everyone was desperate to find a way to help and they were grateful to be able to do something
She learned how to “receive” which led a the virtuous circle of giving and receiving, giving and receiving

As she realised that everything they were doing for Jen helped others as well – one of the legacies of Jen’s fight is a clinic in a public hospital here in Cape Town
Gabi explained that in spite of Jen's campaign dramatically increasing the number of organ donations SA is still in dire need (ironic that only 2% of the population are organ donors when we think of Cape Town as being the home of the first ever heart transplant)
SA has an opt in organ donation program whereas in some countries everyone is born an organ donor and they have to opt out – many more lives are saved in those countries with an opt out policy so Gabi continues to fight for a change in SA legislation.
Pulmonary Hypertension often goes undiagnosed and in fact Jenna was diagnosed as having asmtha during the first six months of her illness. Gabi stressed that breathlessness is a symptom that must be taken seriously.
I asked Gabi if she used alcohol during this period but she explained that her Momcologist duties were so complex that she had to be on top of her game 24/7 so could not risk it. Her coping mechanisms were walking in nature, meditation and yoga.
She talked about the listening meditation that the whole family did every couple of weeks – simply expressing how they were (or were not) coping with Jenna's illness – Jenna herself was part of these sessions.
This made me reflect on the shares that we do at the beginning of our workshops – everybody introduces themselves and talks about their relationship with alcohol. Nobody comments so it truly is a listening meditation and it often strikes me that sometimes this is the first time that some people have expressed their feelings about alcohol out loud – its always an emotional session but it's also very bonding as people realise they are not alone in this
Gabi and I agreed that the deep listening has an effect of the quality of the conversation – which is the essence of coaching.
A few months after Jenna's death Gabi was in a dark place – a friend took her off to a silent retreat – where she cried (silently and not so silently) for much of the time – but every day she would

Published on 3 years, 10 months ago

Podcast Episode Details

A Mother’s Love with Gabi Lowe