Episode Details

Can you be a healthy people pleaser? Yes. The unhealthy version agrees to the tea it does not want, because disagreeing feels worse than eating it.

The unhealthy version changes who it is depending on the room, puts everybody first, and avoids the conflict rather than the meal. The healthy version can hold a difference of view without it turning into a fight. For me this comes down to care. Being paralysed just below the neck, I will not let anybody dictate what I can and cannot do.

One thing to try: Next time somebody asks what you want, say the one you actually want. Even if it is only tea.

In this episode

• (0:03) Can there be a healthy version of this at all?
• (1:56) The series that raised the question, and a new colour
• (4:33) The nightly bowl of dry roasted peanuts. One of my sins
• (6:12) What being a people pleaser actually means
• (7:54) Changing who you are depending on the room
• (9:00) Always putting their choice, their thoughts, their opinion first
• (10:44) Eating the tea you did not want, to avoid saying so
• (13:30) Where I draw the line, and why it comes down to care

The companion talk episode: 2 Words You Should Stop Using AND What to Use Instead

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Thank you for listening.

Steven

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