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42 Practicing Deep Listening: Understanding King David's Shame

Episode 42 Published 5 years, 4 months ago
Description
  1. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where by God’s grace, you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.  This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving.  
    1. This is episode 42, released on November 16, 2020
    2. Thank you for being here with me.  
    3. and it is the sixth episode in our series on shame.  
    4. and it is titled: Practicing Deep Listening:  Understanding King David's Shame
  2. Introduction to IFS.
     
    1. Developed by Richard Schwartz  

    1. Discussion of Parts
       
      1. Discrete, autonomous mental systems, each with own idiosyncratic range of emotion, style of expression, abilities, desires views of the world. 
        1. Modes of operating
        2. Subpersonalities
        3. Orchestra model
        4. Focus is on integration.  

      1. Get forced into extreme roles -- attachment injuries and relational traumas
    3.  
      1. Three roles
         
        1. Exiles -- 
          1. most sensitive -- become injured or outraged.  Threatens the system, external relationships
          2. Exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships
          3. Want care and love, rescue, redemption
          4. shame.  Need for redemption 

        1. Managers
           
          1. Protective, strategic, controlling environment, keep things safe
        2.  
          1. Obsessions. Compulsions, reclusiveness, passivity, numbing. Panic attacks, somatic complaints, depressive episodes, hypervigiliance.
        3.  

        1. Firefighters
           
          1. Stifle, anesthetize, distract from feelings of exiles
        2.  
          1. No concern for consequences
        3.  
          1. Binge eating, drug/alcohol use, dissociation, sexual risk taking, cutting
        4.  


      1. Parts can take over the person
         
        1. Like in Pixar Movie Inside Out -- anger taking over the control panel of the main character Riley
      2.  
        1. We call it blending.  



  5. IFS on the Self -- (recorded)
     
    1. Self defined as the seat of consciousness
  6.  
    1. Self can be occluded or overwhelmed by parts
  7.  
    1. When self accepts and loves parts, those parts transform back into who they were meant to be
  8.  
    1. Self-led mind is self-righting.
  9.  
    1. self -- Active inner leader -- more than mindfulness
  10.  
    1. Parts find the relationship with the self very reassuring
       
      1. But to reap the benefits they have to unblend from and notice the self
    2.  
      1. This is frightening can challenging to parts
    3.  
      1. Agency in the parts -- parts are making decisions about unblending in IFS model
    4.  

    1. Intrinsic qualities of the self
       
      1. Curiosity
    2.  
      1. Compassion
    3.  
      1. Calm
    4.  
      1. Confidence
    5.  
      1. Courage
    6.  
      1. Clarity
    7.  
      1. Creativity
    8.  
      1. Connectedness
    9.  
      1. Kindness
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