Episode Details

If sex hurts, you’ve stopped wanting it, or it just doesn’t feel like it used to, there’s a good chance a doctor has gaslit you into thinking that’s normal. NOT ON OUR WATCH. Dr. Somi Javaid, a board-certified OB/GYN, menopause and sexual health specialist, and founder of HerMD, spent two decades treating these exact issues, and she’s here to say you don’t have to live this way. She joins Em and Cass for a conversation about painful sex, mismatched sex drives, and the two FDA-approved medications for low desire (she took one herself when her own drive disappeared). They also get into how to find a doctor who takes you seriously, and why perimenopause can start earlier than you think.

What you’ll learn:

• Why painful sex is common but NOT normal, plus the 19-question quiz and the details that get a doctor to take you seriously
• The fixes nobody’s talking about: moisturizers, localized hormones, a vibrator you use before sex, and pelvic floor PT you can do from your couch
• Why birth control, breastfeeding, and perimenopause can all leave you dry (and why perimenopause can actually start in your early 30s)
• Why a mismatched sex drive doesn’t mean you’re broken, and what to try before reaching for medication (audio erotica, a clitoral pump, and more)
• Why Viagra was approved in six months, while the first drug for low desire in women took six years (and the “wine or sex” contract women had to sign)
• One of the top reasons women struggle to orgasm (it’s not what you’d guess)
• How to find a specialist who won’t gaslight you, filtered by zip code and by whether they take your insurance

Connect with Dr. Somi and listen to her podcast HERE!

Wanna hang out IRL? Come to our event in Portland, OR on Nov. 14th 2026. Click HERE for tickets!

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