Episode Details

You can do everything right. You can quote scripture. You can understand what it means to be the head of your home. But if you don't understand that leadership is not about controlling everything, if you don't submit to your partner's strengths, and if you're not intentional about cultivating your woman the way God cultivates you, you'll miss the foundation that holds everything together.

In this deeply personal, beautifully vulnerable episode of Unbroken Podcast, host Richard Akita sits down with a young man who is redefining what it means to be a godly leader in a relationship, for an unfiltered conversation that will challenge everything you think you know about what it takes to build a marriage that lasts, why submission goes both ways, and the uncomfortable truth that two heads cannot lead a home but a clear leader means leaning on each other's strengths and letting your partner lead where you are weak.

This guest holds nothing back. He breaks down why submission is not about being beneath someone but about recognizing somebody who can do things that you cannot, why he submits to his woman's financial wisdom because she is a whiz and he is an artist who needed to learn, and the one thing most men refuse to accept: when you recognize your weakness and allow your partner to lead in that area you gain strength because you submitted to wisdom. He reveals why the way God deals with him is the way he deals with her, how God cultivates him and teaches him and pushes him to write and tells him to work out and eat right, and the moment you realize that loving your wife as Christ loved the church means cultivating her and reminding her that God has not given her the spirit of fear but of power and boldness and love. He also explains why when she starts a new role and wonders how to go about it he reminds her that they did this exact thing six months ago and God showed her he was faithful, how worst case scenario he is also there to remind her how they went about it on day one, and the one thing every man needs to understand: she submits to him when it comes to everything else but he submits to her when it comes to finances because that is her strength.

This isn't just relationship advice. It's a masterclass in understanding why individual relationships with God must come before the relationship with each other, why he struggled with pornography and lust for years until God helped him deal with it through celibacy and keeping his temple away from sexual immorality, and how making that clear from the jump means past relationships did not work because the other person did not have the same values but today they don't have that problem because this person has the same values as he does. He dives into why he has two rules in his relationship: tell the truth and at least don't lie, how these rules make them communicate clearly because when there's a problem she cannot say it's fine because that's a lie, and the uncomfortable reality that the least don't lie part means there are some things privy to you that your partner cannot know like when you're a counselor and have conversations with people but the tell the truth part removes everything else from the relationship. He also tackles why the Holy Spirit whispers to him to do romantic things and he does them and she asks how did you know and he says the Holy Spirit told me, how he documents with precision every single thing she tells him that she wants or loves or is interested in because his memory is bad and he remembers the last thing he remembers not the thing itself, and the one thing every man needs to do: have particular days where you have dates even in a long distance relationship because she's just a girl who is a financial whiz and she has to be loved.

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