Episode Details

People love to say "you just wait." You just wait until the baby comes. You just wait until the honeymoon phase is over. You just wait until you have no time, no sleep, and no ambition left. Since Winston was born six weeks ago, I've heard some version of it more times than I can count. So I decided to put it to the test.

In this episode, I talk about what these first six weeks of fatherhood have actually been like. The 3 a.m. diaper changes where Winston poops again right after I change him. Watching Ally become a mom and falling even more in love with her. Crying like a baby the moment they put him on her chest. And yes, the running. I've logged about 290 miles since he was born, including 50-mile weeks, and some of the best running I've done in my life. Has it been hard? Absolutely. But hard isn't the same thing as miserable.

We also get into why our expectations shape our experience so much. Marcus Aurelius wrote that the judgments we make about our circumstances determine our outlook, and fatherhood is a perfect example. Two dads can wake up at 3 a.m. to the same crying baby. One sees misery, the other sees gratitude. Same circumstances, completely different experience.

I also have a message for anyone who's about to get married, have a kid, or start a new chapter. Listen to people with experience, but don't let someone else's frustration become your expectation. And if someone tells you "you just wait," ask them: for what?

If this one hits, share it with someone who's expecting or newly married. And as always, keep getting after it, my friends.

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