Episode Details

What happens when you’ve done everything you thought you were supposed to do, and still don’t feel at home in your own life?

Lori Montry knows that feeling. A Harvard Law graduate, former attorney, and now a somatic practitioner and author, she shares how a life built around achievement and other people’s expectations led her to ask what she actually wanted.

We talk about those familiar “good girl” patterns, trying to prove we’re enough, and learning to notice our own needs. Lori shares her perspective on the coping patterns we carry forward and demonstrates two exercises. I try them with her and describe the change I feel in my shoulders.

And, of course, there’s wine! Lori’s memory of sharing a meal with her daughter and choosing a favorite Barolo brings this conversation about self-worth into a wonderfully everyday moment.

In this episode:
- Questioning a life built around everyone else’s expectations
- Recognizing people-pleasing and the pressure to achieve
- Exploring Lori’s approach to old coping patterns
- Trying the “voo” and “creating space” exercises
- Asking for support and allowing change to take time
- Choosing something you love without talking yourself out of it

Connect with Lori:
- Website
- Free guide: Your Nervous System Is Talking: Learning to Listen
- Book: You’re Not the Problem
- Instagram
- YouTube
- Facebook community

Find more conversations and ways to connect at Penny for your Shots, or explore Wine Camp. Follow the show for a new conversation every Thirsty Thursday, and share this one with a girlfriend who might recognize herself in it.

Content note: This conversation includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse and emotional eating.

Lori shares her personal experience and approach. This conversation is for education and reflection, not medical or mental health advice. If you choose to try the exercises, do so somewhere safe, not while driving, and stop if you feel uncomfortable.

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