Episode Details

Welcome to The Daily.

Today, I want to shout out Daniel Moroney from Granby, MA. Thanks for being a Project23 donor. We cannot do this without you. Read more about Project23.

Our text today is Esther 2:12-14

Now when the turn came for each young woman to go in to King Ahasuerus, after being twelve months under the regulations for the women, since this was the regular period of their beautifying, six months with oil of myrrh and six months with spices and ointments for women—when the young woman went in to the king in this way, she was given whatever she desired to take with her from the harem to the king's palace. In the evening she would go in, and in the morning she would return to the second harem in custody of Shaashgaz, the king's eunuch, who was in charge of the concubines. She would not go in to the king again, unless the king delighted in her and she was summoned by name. — Esther 2:12-14

A particular kind of pain comes from realizing someone values you only for what you can provide.

Your work. Your money. Your influence. Your body. Your availability. Your ability to solve their problems.

As long as you are useful, they want you close. But when your usefulness ends, so does their interest. That is the painful reality behind today's scripture.

Each young woman spent twelve months preparing for one sexual escapade with King Ahasuerus. Six months with oil of myrrh. Six months with spices and ointments. Then she entered the king's bedroom one evening.

By morning, she was moved to a second harem. Unless Ahasuerus summoned her by name, she might be canceled forever.

Scripture describes this process, but it does not celebrate it.

These women were assessed by their appearance and their ability to sexually please a powerful leader. Once the king had taken what he wanted, their virginity, they were moved aside and left waiting.

Women were reduced to objects for personal pleasure.

Maybe you have felt this way too. You work for someone who cares more about your output than your care. You have a friend who only calls when they need something. You serve in a ministry where people appreciate your gifts but rarely inquire about your soul.

Listen carefully: being needed can initially feel like being loved. But they are not the same. Sometimes people need what we can do without caring about who we are.

And if we are not careful, we can begin measuring our worth the way they do. We assume we matter because we are—productive, attractive, available, successful, or strong.

Then the moment we don't perform, we wonder whether we still have value. And they do too. But your value is not equal to your usefulness.

God definitely works through your gifts, but he never treats you as a disposable tool. He created you in his image. He knows you completely. He cares about your heart, your pain, your limitations, and your needs.

King Ahasuerus took virginity from these women for his own sexual pleasure out of a law he instituted from his own insecurity. King Jesus did the opposite. He fulfilled the law to eradicate sin to give us life, gifts, a Spirit, and new bodies for a new earth.

He did not come to take from people but to give his life as a ransom for many.

Now this does not mean every difficult relationship is exploitation. Love in any relationship requires sacrifice, service, and patience. But genuine love does not steal your dignity or treat you like an object.

So pay attention when you feel continually used.

You may need a healthy boundary, wise counsel, or help from someone you trust.

And we should also examine the other side of this equation. Are we valuing people only for what they do for us? Do we see the employee, the spouse, the volunteer, the friend, and the family member—or only the benefit they provide?

People are not products or objects.

They are image-bearers.