Episode Details

Thinking about fostering to adopt? You might be prepared to welcome a child into your home, but are you prepared for everything and everyone who comes with them?

The foster-to-adopt journey can be incredibly rewarding, but it also involves responsibilities, relationships and uncertainties that prospective parents may not fully anticipate.

In this episode of The Kingswell Conversations, Richard Kingswell, CEO of Extra Special Parents and FosterVA in Virginia, explores the emotional and practical realities of fostering to adopt, from navigating a child's wider support network to managing expectations around waiting times and finding the right match.

One of the biggest surprises, Richard explains, is the number of professionals and advocates who may be involved in supporting a child.

Social workers, therapists, medical professionals, court representatives, judges, child advocates and agency staff can all play important roles in a child's journey. For a new foster parent, coordinating appointments, visits and conversations can sometimes feel like becoming an air traffic controller.

But Richard encourages families to see this network not simply as another responsibility, but as a village of people working together to help a child feel safe, supported and secure.

The conversation also explores the timeframes involved in becoming approved, waiting for a suitable placement and progressing towards adoption.

Richard explains why foster-to-adopt journeys cannot be rushed, how individual preferences can affect matching times and why finding the right family for a child matters far more than achieving the quickest possible placement.

In this episode, we explore:

• The emotional realities families may not anticipate when fostering to adopt.
• Why children often arrive with an extensive network of professionals and advocates.
• The roles of social workers, therapists, courts and child advocates.
• How foster parents can manage appointments and responsibilities alongside everyday family life.
• What prospective parents should understand about approval and matching timeframes.
• Why fostering and fostering to adopt involve similar preparation and training.
• How a child's legal status can affect the journey towards adoption.
• Why being flexible about age and other preferences may create more matching opportunities.
• The importance of careful matching and placement stability.
• Why older children and teenagers deserve greater consideration from prospective adoptive families.

Richard also explains that the preparation process is designed around understanding children's needs, rather than simply their legal status.

Whether a child is entering a temporary foster placement or may eventually become part of a family through adoption, the need for stability, appropriate parenting skills and trauma-informed support remains essential.

And while prospective parents are understandably eager to welcome a child into their lives, Richard highlights why the process needs time. A child who has already experienced separation and uncertainty deserves a placement that has been carefully considered, with the best possible opportunity for long-term stability.

Towards the end of the conversation, Richard makes a particularly heartfelt case for older children and teenagers.

Too often, teenagers in foster care are viewed through negative stereotypes or assumptions about challenging behaviour. Yet these are young people who need the same opportunities for belonging, encouragement and family connection as younger children.

Richard shares some of the joys of caring for older children, from enjoying shared interests and sporting events to celebrating achievements and helping a young person develop confidence in their future.

It's a reminder that fostering or adopting a teenager can be an extraordinary ex