Episode Details

How do you know when a child in therapeutic foster care is making progress? Is it fewer emotional outbursts, better behaviour or something much more meaningful?

Sometimes progress is as simple as a child joining the family for dinner without anxiety. Sometimes it's putting down a favourite comfort toy, sitting beside a foster parent on the sofa or beginning to trust that the adults around them will be there when they need them.

These moments might seem small to someone looking in from the outside, but for a child who has experienced trauma, they can represent enormous steps forward.

In this episode of The Kingswell Conversations, Richard Kingswell, CEO of Extra Special Parents and FosterVA in Virginia, explores what positive progress really looks like for children in therapeutic foster care.

Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in child welfare, Richard identifies three important areas that can help foster parents and professionals recognise meaningful change: stability, trust and emotional regulation.

He begins with stability, explaining how everyday family routines, consistent expectations and a predictable home environment can gradually help children feel more secure.

When a child begins to understand that meals happen regularly, household expectations remain consistent and the adults caring for them are reliable, the uncertainty that once shaped their behaviour may begin to ease.

From there, Richard explores the development of trust.

For some children, trust is expressed through the smallest changes. A child who previously avoided physical closeness might choose to sit beside a caregiver. Another might begin to feel comfortable leaving a treasured comfort object behind. These are the moments Richard describes as the hidden gems of foster parenting.

And then there is emotional regulation.

Richard reminds us that success doesn't mean a child will never become upset, angry or overwhelmed. Every child experiences difficult emotions. Progress may simply mean that a reaction which once reached a ten now reaches a five, or that a child is beginning to develop safer ways to express what they're feeling.

In this episode, we explore:

• What meaningful progress looks like in therapeutic foster care.
• Richard's three key areas of progress: stability, trust and emotional regulation.
• How predictable routines can help children feel safe.
• Why small changes in everyday behaviour can represent significant breakthroughs.
• How foster parents can recognise the early signs of growing trust.
• The importance of matching children with suitable foster families.
• Why emotional progress doesn't mean eliminating difficult feelings.
• How caregivers can help children develop healthier ways to respond to distress.
• Why conversations about boundaries and expectations are best held outside moments of crisis.
• The importance of recognising progress in children who have experienced significant trauma.

Towards the end of the conversation, Richard reflects on some of the experiences that have stayed with him throughout his career.

He speaks particularly about supporting young people who have used self-injury to cope with overwhelming emotions, and the profound difference it can make when a child begins to develop safer coping strategies through stability, trust and appropriate professional intervention.

It's a powerful reminder that progress isn't always visible in school reports, behaviour charts or placement outcomes. Sometimes the most meaningful changes happen quietly, within the everyday relationships that help children begin to feel secure.

For foster parents, social workers and clinical professionals, recognising these moments matters. They are reminders that the time, patience and care invested in a child can make a lasting difference.

Whether you're already fost