Episode Details

CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of sexual assault, rape fantasies, rape role-play, BDSM and explicit sexual scenarios.

Two men. Two dating platforms. Two conversations in 48 hours that left me wondering what the bloody hell is going on.

One man launched into a detailed rape role-play fantasy before he even knew my name. The other decided to tell me what sort of rough sex I apparently enjoyed.

Neither asked whether I wanted to have those conversations.

I’m sexually experienced, adventurous and open (or, you know, a hoe) (which I love for me), and I know that consensual kink can be a wonderfully respectful space.

But there’s a rather important word in that sentence: consensual.

And here’s what really concerns me.

Discussing a fantasy, agreeing to meet someone or even agreeing to rape role-play does not constitute consent to sexual assault. Consent must be freely given, is specific to what happens, and can be withdrawn.

But sexual assault survivors already face significant barriers to reporting, being believed and securing convictions.

So what happens if a woman is sexually assaulted after a man has described a rape role-play scenario in writing? Could those messages be used to cast doubt on her account of what she did and didn’t consent to, even though they are not, in themselves, evidence of consent to the assault?

That’s the concern I’m raising. Not that such a defence would necessarily succeed, but that an already difficult process could become even more complicated.

I’m not suggesting either man intended to assault me. I don’t know that. But their approach raised some bloody big red flags.

This is a short, slightly rain-soaked PSA about dating apps, sexual boundaries, red flags and the importance of consent.

And to the men listening: don’t do the goddamn assaulting.

🎙️ The C-Word with Catharine Redden

Where feminism, sex, frivolity, and fury all get a mic.

🎙️👀 What worked? What dragged? What made you mutter “Jesus Christ, Catharine”? Tell me.

Content Note ~
This podcast gets into bodies, panic attacks, trauma, sexism, mental health, and the occasional emotional sinkhole. Please look after yourself only listen when you feel safe to engage with potentially triggering material. 
Also, I swear.

Support ~ 
These aren’t here as a formality. I’ve used some of these myself.

Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7)
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (ages 5–25)
1800RESPECT 1800 737 732
Emergency 000

Outside Australia, local crisis services are available. ~

The Socials (I'd love a follow) 
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/catharine.redden/

LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/catharine-redden/

Support The Pod
Substack (where I write stuff)
https://catharineredden.substack.com

Buy Me a Coffee (where you can financially support the pod, and me!)
https://buymeacoffee.com/CatharineRedden

Credits
Recorded on the lands of the Ramindjeri and Ngarrindjeri peoples.
Sovereignty never ceded.

Recorded & edited at Ridley Farm Studio by Luke Ridley
https://ridleyfarmstudio.com...