Episode Details

An honest lamentation of an artist's genuine passion meeting inability to afford breaking into the comedy industry through the pay-to-play-channels and challenges presented by the New York City comedy ecosystem, where a heated politically and socioeconomically divided hotbed intersects with the sanitized market-ready time pieces seeking to threaten the very foundations of comedy itself.

(Give me a dollar— times 5 for a tight five, times 5)

You are the most beautiful cartoon that I have ever breathed upon to bring to life; 

I love your dreams, your people, circle of friends and fam, and even your wife 

Ain’t that about a knife in the back?!

Been addicted to cracking up, over a guilty habit: 

Run, rabbit, run—

But when I heard the starting gun, 

I realized I was in my underwear 

I shouldn’t care, I— I’m probably in a nightmare 

I’ll wake up in a second but 

Truth is, I’d say semi lucid 

Just a couple more seconds in a night terror 

As long as it had you there

(How does this make human sense???) 

It doesn’t, 

At this point, I’m guessing I’m an alien or something 

Cause I’m mailing in a sandwich wrapped in raps 

Over a fuckin puppet

Uh-oh, I made it grow the wooden nose, 

But didn’t know it was much to close to the fire to roast 

Only the marshmallow, and now the boy is just an inferno

Its delivery, not Dijourno, cause I don’t want no cardboard 

Just oak wood; 

Get it? 

(Give me a dollar times 5–for a tight five, times 5)

I really wrote this show, and it gets so good, 

Innit? 

God is so Won’t stop with this

Wonka, it’s all a gobstopper; 

I saw a gobbler at the park, and hadn’t thought of em, 

Till big brother brought it up, all over a bottle of 

Bourbon 

Poshmark; modern, urban— 

I found him on the curb man, 

That is what is so disturbing 

And God-dern awful,

Aw shucks, I probably should have called him Nostradamus; 

Cause his nose is gorgeous, 

But also, 

He’s got a broadcast consciousness, 

And raunchy enough stuff comes out of the box I watch it on 

I have to wonder 

What the fuck’s this motherfucker working for the dark lord, 

I hope not! 

Woah Lorne, 

It just got 

Awkward, Hitchcock, 

Alfred, Armisen—

I thought I saw a wrist-watch

Every Saturday, I go to grand central station

Or as church lady would say 

SATAN?! 

Isn’t that special? 

Contemplating my existence; I been praying 

for me to finally find a way to break in; 

I hate making fake friends, every night-open mics, 

Alt-right showcases, fresh faces with braces, rich kids with racist 

Parents 

I can’t even compare with them cause i keep on seeing bear in them, 

I swear I care, I’m just a little ill prepared, is all 

This one is not as much a riddle as it is 

A fucking lost cause 

Started on a cartoon, now I’m watching Fox News 

If you wear a posh suit, it’s likely I will watch, you, too 

Tune in for just a second 

Sit down in your audience and write another record

Too bad they don’t give brownie points or A-for-fuckin effort in 

8-H I’m seeking a mate, eh 

But cancelled a date today, and only an eight

SUNNI BLŪ

(A seven in LA) 

but 

Hey, what the fuck this place is crazy; 

It’s not even like “everybody hates me” 

Cause 

No one cares. 

Noone cares in New York

Everybody’s got their own stuff going on 

Everybody works, 

And these are just words, 

But if my love could turn to dollars— 

I would be the richest person on earth 

Lost Cause 

Give me a dollar times five 

For a bucket mic 

Lost Cause

It costs to be a comic, <