Episode Details

Before you press play, take the Vibe quiz on Adam's website to discover your connection style and find the gaps in your portfolio of relationships.

How do you truly connect with someone you admire when you are afraid of reaching out, bothering them, or even offending them?

In this episode, I talk with Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, Wharton's top-rated professor, and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of multiple books including Give and Take, Originals, Think Again, Hidden Potential, and his latest, Vibe. He is also the keynote conversation for my 5-day virtual event, The Connection Conference . In this long-awaited conversation, Adam and I talk all about what it truly means to connect on a deeper, more human level and how the most meaningful way to succeed is by helping others succeed. We both talk candidly about the fears we have of reaching out, bothering people, or even offending them, and how to truly connect with someone even just through outreach emails. If you're already a fan of Adam Grant, I promise you'll see a more personal side of him you don't often see, and you'll learn how important patience is when reaching out cold to people you admire, knowing your persistence will pay off if you always provide value to others.

If you're an artist or creative who struggles with outreach but who's craving more deep, meaningful connections with those you admire, this conversation will change the way you think about networking and building relationships.

Key Takeaways

• Be thoughtful about when, who, and how you help. Successful givers do not help everyone with every request, and a five-minute favor is a simple way to give without burning out.
• Put in the effort, because there are no shortcuts when it comes to meaningful connections. You can accelerate connection, but you can’t skip the effort that it takes to show you’re taking a genuine interest in another human.
• Reach out even if you feel guilty about being a burden. If you’re hesitating because you don’t want a one-sided interaction or to waste their time, you are the person other people are waiting to hear from.

Episode Highlights

• The people and experiences that shaped the belief that "The most meaningful way to succeed is to help others succeed"
• Givers vs. Takers vs. Matchers: The reciprocity styles and the general thesis behind Give and Take
• The five-minute favor in action, and what makes an introduction a true win-win for everyone involved
• Inside the inbox: what actually goes through the mind of the person you are afraid of bothering
• How a parasocial relationship becomes a real one with synchronized brainwaves and heartbeats
• Why naming the fear of being ghosted is a bid for connection, and how to set a kind boundary for too much inbound
• The eighth-grade basketball that disappeared (and found), and why there are no shortcuts when it comes to meaningful connection
• Getting a psychologist who says he does not help anyone to rethink his own impact
• The adverse selection problem: why the people who hesitate to reach out out of guilt are th