Episode Details

What happens at the end of life when the systems we rely on don't recognise who we are, or who we love?

In this episode, I'm joined by Zoe Hinton, ACON's Community Health Promotion Officer for End of Life and Palliative Care. Zoe works within The LOVE Project (Living Older Visibly and Engaged), ACON's initiative supporting older LGBTQ+ people to stay socially connected, visible and engaged in community, and helps deliver ACON's Taking Control toolkit for palliative care and end of life decisions.

We talk about the nuances LGBTQ+ people face when accessing palliative care, from doctors who assume you have an opposite sex partner, to legal and superannuation systems built around one married partner and dependent children. Zoe explains why chosen family matters so much, how partners who were never openly recognised can be shut out of homes, estates and even funerals, and why so many older community members fear being forced back into the closet when they enter aged care.

Zoe also busts the myth that palliative care is only for your final weeks, shares simple questions allies can ask aged care providers about LGBTQ+ safety policies and staff training, and reminds us that documentation isn't just paperwork. It's also the conversations we have with the people who will speak for us.

But this conversation ultimately comes back to grief and ritual. From the AIDS Memorial Quilt to lighting a candle or dancing with friends, Zoe shows how we can create our own rituals to honour the people we love, especially when the official funeral doesn't reflect who they were. As Zoe puts it, grief is messy, and you are a person changed completely.

Remember; You may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared.

Take care,

Catherine

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