Episode Details

You know that changing room moment: harsh lighting, a three-way mirror, an armful of dresses, and suddenly you can’t find one kind thing to say to yourself. I used to talk to myself like that every day, until a sunny dog walk and an audiobook changed everything.

In this episode of Bright Lips, I share my personal story of how mirror work and positive self-talk took me from feeling frumpy and behind to feeling like the confident version of myself I know I'm meant to feel. For years I thought it was normal to look in the mirror and tell myself I looked old, tired and “a mess”. I had no idea how much that inner critic was affecting how I felt, what I wore and how I showed up.

Then I heard Jamie Kern Lima talk about saying kind things to yourself in the mirror. It sounded a bit crazy, but I tried it the very next morning in my car. It’s become one of the most powerful tools that I draw on to lift me. 

If you're a midlife woman who struggles with her confidence at times (don't we all!) then this episode is for you. 

In this episode:

• Why the changing room mirror makes us so unkind to ourselves
• What mirror work is, and how to talk to yourself like a friend
• My first (slightly awkward!) mirror pep talk, and what changed afterwards
• The science: a randomised controlled trial showing that kind words plus a mirror calmed the nervous system
• How self-compassion gives you the confidence to wear what you really want
• My 1-minute mirror hack for a big day, plus a high-five shortcut for days when kind words feel hard

Your action point: Tomorrow, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and give yourself a compliment, as if you were talking to a friend. “Nice earrings.” “Your hair looks great today.” If it makes you giggle, even better!

Chapters:

• 00:00 Welcome, and why mirror talk matters
• 00:55 The dreaded changing room mirror moment
• 02:47 What is mirror work? My inner critic story
• 04:13 The dog walk and the book that changed everything
• 05:11 My first mirror pep talk in the car park
• 08:01 The science behind mirror work and self-compassion
• 10:26 Your action point for today
• 10:56 The high-five shortcut and the 1-minute confidence hack

Mentioned in this episode:

• Believe IT by Jamie Kern Lima, founder of IT Cosmetics: https://www.simonandschuster.co.uk/books/Believe-IT/Jamie-Kern-Lima/9781982157821
• Petrocchi et al., “Compassion at the mirror”, Journal of Positive Psychology (free PDF): https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Petrocchi2016.pdf
• Mirror Meditation by Dr Tara Well, Barnard College: https://barnard.edu/news/professor-tara-well-publishes-new-book-mirror-meditation
• The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins: https://books.apple.com/us/book/id1570652920

If this episode made you smile, please share it with a friend who needs a little mirror love, and leave a review to help more midlife women find Bright Lips. 💄

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Amanda Waterstone