Episode Details

Someone asked me: "I just got promoted and some of my old work friends have gone cold on me.. how do I handle it without becoming someone I'm not?"

What I've learned, or I'm still learning, is that different people need to be communicated to in different ways. A one or two word answer is plenty for one person, and for someone else it's "oh my god, what's wrong?" Then there's the promotion. I'm guessing, but maybe there's something around rank, for example, and who knows what's going on in their minds.

In corporate, around 20 years ago, I was friendly, kind, helpful and supportive, and I wasn't at work to make friends. That's just what I did, and you don't need to follow me. I also talk about the office gossip, being softer and still clear, and finding mentors. Some people will put you in a box and call you arrogant, and I've had that many times.

In this episode

• Why a one or two word answer lands so differently for different people
• Rank, and what a promotion can bring up in old work friends
• Why I wasn't at work to make friends, and how I stayed friendly, kind and helpful
• What happens to your place in the gossip crew when you stop gossiping
• How to be softer in your communication and still be clear
• Mentors, and why I'd say don't go looking for another group
• Why some people won't like it when you step up

Chapters

00:00 Different People Need Different Communication

02:59 The Rank Insecurity of Former Peers

05:19 Work Is Not For Making Friends

07:24 Escaping the Gossip Crew

09:35 High Performer Mindset

10:36 Softening Communication Without Losing Clarity

12:17 Find Mentors, Not Another Group

13:38 Accepting That Some Will Hate Your Success

Watch it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/EvuiRMQdc4o

Read the full write-up: https://www.dylanayaloo.com/blog/podcast-ep62-promoted-work-friends-gone-cold

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Take the free quiz to discover your inner work type: https://www.dylanayaloo.com/quiz