Episode Details

The Psychology of Not Caring

Uploaded 03-10-26

In this video, we break down the psychology of not caring. Why some things get under your skin while others slide right off, and the three places your care quietly gets borrowed.

We look at Nico Frijda's theory that every emotion comes from a "concern," and Richard Lazarus's appraisal research showing your mind runs a relevance check before you can think. We cover Daniel Kahneman and David Schkade's focusing illusion, which explains how whatever you look at long enough starts to feel like it matters. Then we go through the three places your care gets borrowed: borrowed fights (Steve Rathje's research on out-group posts), borrowed scoreboards (Tim Kasser and Richard Ryan on extrinsic goals), and borrowed urgency (Meng Zhu, Yang Yang and Christopher Hsee on how deadlines impersonate importance). Finally, three principles to take your care back: name your few, ask the ten-year question (Emma Bruehlman-Senecal and Ozlem Ayduk), and cut off the lenders (Hunt Allcott and Matthew Gentzkow's Facebook deactivation study).


Of the three places your care gets borrowed, borrowed fights, borrowed scoreboards, or borrowed urgency, which one takes the most from you? Tell me in the comments. I read them.

#psychology #psychologyfacts #selfimprovement #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth #personalgrowth #psychtoons

Research referenced:
- Frijda, N. H. (1986). The Emotions. Cambridge University Press.
- Lazarus, R. S. (1991). Emotion and Adaptation. Oxford University Press.
- Schkade, D. A., and Kahneman, D. (1998). Does living in California make people happy? A focusing illusion in judgments of life satisfaction. Psychological Science, 9(5), 340-346.
- Rathje, S., Van Bavel, J. J., and van der Linden, S. (2021). Out-group animosity drives engagement on social media. PNAS, 118(26).
- Holman, E. A., Garfin, D. R., and Silver, R. C. (2014). Media's role in broadcasting acute stress following the Boston Marathon bombings. PNAS, 111(1), 93-98.
- Kasser, T., and Ryan, R. M. (1996). Further examining the American dream: Differential correlates of intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22(3), 280-287.
- Dittmar, H., Bond, R., Hurst, M., and Kasser, T. (2014). The relationship between materialism and personal well-being: A meta-analysis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 107(5), 879-924.
- Zhu, M., Yang, Y., and Hsee, C. K. (2018). The mere urgency effect. Journal of Consumer Research, 45(3), 673-690.
- Shah, J. Y., Friedman, R., and Kruglanski, A. W. (2002). Forgetting all else: On the antecedents and consequences of goal shielding. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(6), 1261-1280.
- Bruehlman-Senecal, E., and Ayduk, O. (2015). This too shall pass: Temporal distance and the regulation of emotional distress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108(2), 356-375.
- Allcott, H., Braghieri, L., Eichmeyer, S., and Gentzkow, M. (2020). The welfare effects of social media. American Economic Review, 110(3), 629-676.
- Kierkegaard, S. (1847). Purity of Heart Is to Will One Thing.

---

Disclaimer: This video is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute professional psychological or medical advice. If you're struggling with your mental health, please reach out to a licensed therapist or mental health professional.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices