Episode Details

What happens when you finally accept that the life you’re living no longer matches the person you want to become?

In Part 2 of my conversation with Vanessa Maldonado, we talk about two major turning points in her life: walking away from a 10-year career in multifamily to bet on herself in real estate, and eventually making the decision to give up alcohol for good.

Vanessa opens up about her relationship with drinking, repeatedly going months without alcohol to prove she was still in control, and then falling back into the same cycle once she convinced herself she could drink responsibly again. Now approaching three years sober, she explains why she no longer wants to drink, how sobriety has changed the way she experiences life, and why she finally had to accept that moderation simply wasn't her reality.

We also get into fitness, personal development, addictive personalities, self-awareness, discipline, and the difficult realization that sometimes you can't keep your old lifestyle while becoming the person you want to be.

🎙️ In this episode:
• Vanessa’s 10-year career in multifamily and apartment leasing
• Realizing she had hit a ceiling in her career
• The opportunity that introduced her to new-home sales
• Why Vanessa turned down a job with a homebuilder
• Getting her real estate license and going all-in
• Knowing when you're miserable enough to finally make a change
• Jim Rohn, personal development, and thinking bigger
• Balancing fitness, ambition, partying, and motherhood
• Vanessa approaching three years without alcohol
• What it actually feels like to experience life completely sober
• Becoming hyper-aware of your emotions and behaviors
• Vanessa recognizing her addictive personality
• Why fitness and drinking were competing lifestyles
• Going three to six months without alcohol to prove she had control
• The cycle of returning to drinking after periods of sobriety
• Drinking to celebrate, drinking when sad, and everything in between
• The difference between being sober and trying to become a “responsible drinker”
• Matt questioning whether drinking in moderation is possible for him
• Why Vanessa decided she never wants alcohol again
• Accepting that some people simply can't have “just one”

🧠 What you'll learn:
• Why being successful at something doesn't mean you should stay there
• How hitting a career ceiling can force you to think bigger
• Why personal development can completely change your expectations for your life
• How good habits and destructive habits can compete against each other
• Why temporary sobriety doesn't necessarily mean you've changed your relationship with alcohol
• How the belief that “I can control it now” can restart an old cycle
• Why sobriety can make you more present with both positive and negative emotions
• The importance of recognizing your own behavioral patterns
• Why moderation isn't the right answer for everyone
• How changing your identity can require leaving parts of your old lifestyle behind

⏱️ CHAPTERS / TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Vanessa’s Career Before Real Estate
00:24 10 Years in Apartment Leasing
00:52 The Real Estate Aha Moment
01:47 Was Life Pushing Her Toward Something Bigger?
02:01 Turning Down New-Home Sales & Betting on Herself
02:42 Going All-In on Real Estate
03:12 When You Start Hating Your Career
03:33 Making a Change
03:38 Fitness & Personal Development
03:55 Discovering Jim Rohn
04:31 Working Hard & Playing Hard
05:08 Vanessa’s Sobriety Journey
05:44 “I Feel Everything”
06:11 Life Without Numbing Your Emotions
06:42 Choosing Between Two Lifestyles
07:52 Testing Herself Without Alcohol
08:35 The Cycle of Drinking Again
09:07 An Addictive Personality & Functional Drinking
10:38 Does Vanessa Ever Want to Drink Again?
11:21 Can You Ever Becom