Episode Details

If you've ever thought "How do I stop binging an what do I do after a binge?" then this episode is for you.

The short answer is that your eating makes sense, even when it feels out of control. Overeating and binge eating are signals, like a light on your car's dashboard. They point to something going on underneath, such as shame, restriction, stress, or feelings you don't have another way to handle yet.

Maybe you eat half a box of cereal standing in the kitchen. Maybe you eat in the car so nobody sees. Then you buy a new box, hide the wrappers, and promise yourself that tomorrow will be different.

My guest today, Jane Pilger, knows that feeling well. Jane is a Master Certified Coach and the host of the Binge Eating Breakthrough Podcast. She binged in secret for decades, starting in her first semester of college. Today she talks about binge eating with zero shame, and she helps women see their eating through a whole new lens.

Jane shares the eight reasons we eat when we don't want to. Even if you don't call yourself a binge eater, this applies to any time you've eaten in a way you wish you could do over.

• Why shame and judgment make it harder to stop overeating
• How the way you talk to yourself can be a form of restriction, even when you eat everything
• Why food is often how we get away from ourselves
• The one question that works better than "What's wrong with me?"
• Why new habits don't stick until the deeper reasons get attention
• Why on-again, off-again dieting is a sign you're focused on the outside
• Why Jane says there's no finish line, and why that's good news

Your eating is a light on the dashboard. It's telling you something is going on underneath. Shame keeps the hood closed. Curiosity and compassion open it. When you ask "How does this make sense?" instead of "What's wrong with me?" you start finding real answers, and emotional eating starts to lose its grip.

• "Why do I binge eat when I'm not even hungry?"
• "Nobody can know how much I eat."
• "I know what to do. I just can't do it."
• "Why do I keep going on and off my diet?"
• "Will I ever stop thinking about food?"

Why do I eat when I don't want to?
Unwanted eating usually has a reason underneath it. Jane names eight, including shame, restriction, a stressed nervous system, and using food to cope with emotions. Your eating makes sense, even when it feels out of control.

Does shame make binge eating worse?
Yes. Shame tells you something is wrong with you. When we're hard on ourselves, we want to get away from ourselves, and food is often how we learned to do that.

Will I ever stop binge eating for good?
Jane says there's no finish line, and that's okay. She still binges on rare occasions. What changed is how she treats herself afterward, and that makes it much easier to move on.

• janepilger.com
• Cultivate: janepilger.com/cultivate 
• The Binge Eating Breakthrough Podcast
• The Food Freedom Mini Series:

• Listen Now