Episode Details

What does real strength look like in a relationship?

In this episode of Surviving Toxic Relationships with The Matadoras, Lizzie and Deana sit down with Garth Haslem, author of Power Over Force and founder of Manalizing, to explore the difference between genuine strength and the need to control.

Garth shares why power does not come from being the loudest person in the room, intimidating others, shutting down emotionally, or demanding obedience. Instead, real power begins with the ability to govern yourself.

Together, we discuss why some men may confuse strength with control, anger, intimidation, or emotional withdrawal; what happens when stress pushes someone toward reactive behavior; and how emotional regulation can change the dynamics within a family. Garth also explains his LOAD assessment and how slowing down long enough to recognize your choices can keep a difficult moment from becoming a destructive one.

We also talk about boundaries, including why setting a boundary can initially be uncomfortable but ultimately healthier than continually accommodating behavior that is hurting you or your family.

Garth shares the heart behind Manalizing, a community designed to give men a place to talk honestly about the things men often don't talk about, including relationships, divorce, addiction, emotional struggles, isolation, and the pressures they carry alone.

This conversation offers an important distinction: you cannot control another person's behavior, but you can decide who you are, what you will accept, and how you will respond.

Learn more about Garth and his work through Power Over Force, Manalizing, and Stone and Pine.

If you have ever wondered where healthy leadership ends and controlling behavior begins, this conversation is for you.

You are not alone. You are not crazy. You are deeply loved.

You can learn more about Garth and his work at PowerOverForce.com, or connect with him through Manalizing.com.

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Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.