Episode Details
Back to EpisodesTears Have Words. On the lost human connection when we jump in too early to fix
Description
Reading from an excerpt within my upcoming guide I'm soon publishing on why conversations fail.
TEARS HAVE WORDS. I heard that from my coaching instructors, and I think of it every time a client cries — or I do.
Most of us are uncomfortable with tears, which signals a deeper flaw: an inability to listen without fixing, which feels kind, even helpful. But too early, and it dodges the reflection that would surface awareness, and then potentially tears, that come when we know the truth behind our problem.
This reading explores why and how fixing before reflecting and exploring always solves the wrong problem, and the person talking knows it. (Often the receiver of that half-assed listening does too.) Maintaining presence (competency #5) and understanding more deeply why we jump in immediately to fix helps us shift from performative conversations or coaching to more grounded and powerful ones.
Our Host
Debbi McCullough, is an executive communications coach for Fortune 500 leaders, a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the Financial Times. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here. Join her workshops on Maven here and here.