Episode Details

Join Brett’s Substack: Letters from an Escapee: :https://bretttrainor.substack.com/

Hans Weygoldt had everything on paper. Good money, job security, the family business, the life that looks right from the outside. And he was empty.

He spent ten years trying to leave. Every time he sat down to build the plan, his mind went blank. As he puts it, the more he thought about it, the more self-doubt showed up, so the planning itself was digging the hole deeper.

When he finally went, it took about a second. Something changed at work, he said that's it, and gave notice with no plan B at all. He didn't even tell his wife until days later, halfway to Maine on a camping trip. She was shocked, then she smiled.

His only regret is that he waited so long.

Getting to that point went through some hard ground. A decade of substance abuse while managing in the corporate world, driven by a void he couldn't name. A trip to Peru that broke the addiction but left the guilt behind. And eventually breathwork, which is now what he does for other people.

Two ideas in here I haven't been able to put down.

The first is his split on pressure. External pressure eventually crushes you. Pressure you build from the inside is something you can expand through. He spent a career trying to meet expectations other people set for him. Now he sets them himself, and sets them higher than anyone else ever did.

The second is from a mentor of his, and it's the best thing said in this episode: it takes a lot of curiosity to find out who you are, and then a lot of courage to be that way.

This one pairs with the Geoff Curtis conversation from earlier this week more than I expected. Two guys, completely different paths, both landing on the same thing: the planning is usually the avoidance.

In this episode:

• Golden handcuffs, and the beliefs underneath them
• The decade of substance abuse nobody at work knew about
• Peru, and what broke the pattern
• What actually happens in a breathwork session
• Why the planning kept him stuck for ten years
• External expectations versus the ones you set yourself
• Trust as a practice, not a feeling
• Why he never told his wife until after he'd quit
• Skydiving, piano, and a master's degree at this stage of life

ABOUT THE GUEST

Hans Weygoldt is a breathwork facilitator and emergence coach. He spent years in a family business before leaving with no plan, and now works with people on breaking the patterns underneath addiction, emotional suppression, and self-sabotage. He runs in-person group sessions and one-on-one sessions online, and is pursuing a master's in consciousness-based leadership and coaching.

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hans-andreas-weygoldt-151777356/
• Facebook: Hans Weygoldt

THE IDEAS WORTH KEEPING

The plan B was the trap. Ten years of trying to engineer an exit produced nothing but more self-doubt. He left without one and figured it out after.

External pressure crushes, internal pressure expands. The same force, two completely different outcomes depending on who's applying it.

Trying to be strong made him weak. The mask cost more than it protected.

Trust is the first principle. In a session and out of it. He says breathwork reflects life, and learning to trust the process on a mat taught him to trust it everywhere else.

Curiosity first, then courage. Finding out who you are is the curious part. Being that person in public is the hard part.

What you think of me is none of