Episode Details

Episode 186 — Would You Still Choose Me?

After forty years of marriage, there’s one question you probably shouldn’t ask unless you’re prepared for the answer.

So naturally, I asked Kat.

“Would you still choose me?”

Her answer?

“No.”

And that's where this episode begins.

Forty years ago, two very young people stood in front of God and promised themselves to one another. Those two people don't exist anymore. Life changed them. Children changed them. Success and failure changed them. Age, sex, faith, disappointment, laughter, loss and forty years of living together changed them.

So, what does it mean to choose each other now?

In Episode 186 of Crusade With Me, Kat joins me for a very candid conversation about marriage, growing together, and the roles we've played along the way. We wrestle with masculinity and femininity—not as stereotypes or rigid job descriptions, but as we've actually experienced them through four decades of being husband and wife.

We also challenge some of the messages modern culture gives us about relationships:

Protect your peace. Never change for someone else. You shouldn't need anybody. If you're unhappy, maybe you're with the wrong person.

There can be truth in some of those ideas. But what happens to a marriage if ME always outranks US?

Because marriage isn't 50/50 every day.

Sometimes it's 80/20.

Sometimes one person carries almost everything.

Sometimes you adore each other.

And sometimes you choose someone you don't particularly like at that moment.

Maybe that's the part nobody tells you when you're standing at the altar.

Marriage isn't one enormous choice made on your wedding day.

It's thousands of smaller choices made afterward.

Stay. Listen. Forgive. Apologize. Laugh. Touch. Carry each other. Change. Grow. And when necessary, choose each other again.

So, after forty years...

Would we still choose each other?

You'll have to listen to find out.