Episode Details

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

• Your ex is rewriting your shared history in lawyer's letters or affidavits
• Money is disappearing before your property settlement
• You suspect secret super, hidden cash, or crypto
• Your ex has turned your family or your own accountant against you
• The person who hurt you is now playing the victim
• You want to know these patterns are predictable and you're not alone
• You suspect your ex is a narc

⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Originally recorded in 2021 – laws may have changed. Always get independent legal advice.
🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) | Lifeline 13 11 14.

About this episode:
From the vault over 300 episodes back to one of the very first and most requested episodes we ever recorded. Mum draws on 35+ years in family law to open up The Narcissist Playbook: the 10 patterns she sees again and again with controlling and manipulative exes in divorce. If the playbook existed, it would have two chapters  "I only care about me" and "I tell lies." Once you can see the patterns, you can see the next move coming.

⏱️ Timeline
00:00 – From the Vault: Why We're Replaying The Narcissist Playbook
01:00 – Family Violence Warning & Disclaimer
02:00 – The Two Rules of the Narcissist Playbook
04:00 – Pattern 1: They Rewrite History
07:00 – How to Prove the Lies: Photos, Receipts, Credibility
09:00 – Pattern 2: Spending Money Before Property Settlement
10:00 – Add-Backs: How Wasted Money Gets Counted
11:00 – Pattern 3: Secret Super, Bank Accounts and Hidden Cash
12:00 – Crypto and Digital Wallets
13:00 – Positive Credit Card Balances and Gambling Accounts
14:00 – Pattern 4: Undermining You With Family and Kids
16:00 – Building Your Support Group
17:00 – Pattern 5: Playing the Victim and DV Cross-Applications
18:00 – Keeping a Diary of Coercive Control
21:00 – Pattern 6: Parent of the Year Transformation
22:00 – Toys, Trips and Trash Talk: The Cost to Kids
24:00 – Genuine Change vs Performance
25:00 – Pattern 7: They Re-Partner Almost at Once
26:00 – Recruiting the New Partner Into the Campaign
27:00 – When the New Partner Wakes Up: Witnesses and Subpoenas
28:00 – Pattern 8: Turning Joint Professionals Against You
30:00 – Get Your Own Accountant and Team
31:00 – Pattern 9: Claiming Credit for Your Contributions
33:00 – Why Judges See Through It
34:00 – Pattern 10: Reversing the Blame
35:00 – How Courts Catch the Lies
37:00 – New Court Rules: Responding to Their Affidavit
38:00 – The Ten Patterns Recapped
39:00 – Reviewer of the Month: Free 30-Minute Consult With Lyn

🎧 Episode mentioned: Finance and Financial Planners (with Pedro)

📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000
🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free resources + DIY Divorce Blueprint
✉️ Questions: thedivorcecoursepodcast@gmail.com or DM @thedivorcecourse
⭐ Review the podcast each month for a chance to win a free 30-minute chat with Lyn

If this episode helped you recognise the patterns and feel less alone, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too.

All our best,
Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side