Episode Details

Ask Rachel anything

If your son seems apathetic, glued to gaming, or strangely unbothered by school, you are not alone, and you are not imagining it. I decided to create this discussion because I have been contacted by so many parents about the lacklustre attitudes they are seeing in their sons, looking for advice on what to do.

Around the world, boys are falling behind academically, drifting socially, and retreating into screens. Meanwhile, girls are outstripping boys at school and university, and often hiding their own struggles under high achievement (a topic I recently covered both here with Dr Tara Porter and here with Dr Suzanne Garfinkle-Crowell.)

In this episode, I talk to Dr Leonard Sax—family physician, psychologist, and author of Boys Adrift and Why Gender Matters—about why so many boys are losing motivation and the practical things parents can do about it, starting now.

You’ll learn:

• What’s really going on with boys today and why we should all care, because this isn’t just a schooling issue; it’s a future-partner, future-father, future-society issue.
• How modern schooling can switch boys off.
• Gaming: when it’s harmless and when it’s stealing your son’s life, including clear, research-backed limits and rules you can put in place at home.
• ADHD or something else? The hidden role of sleep and screens.
• Masculinity, role models, and “good men” in a disrespectful culture.
• Porn, AI “girlfriends”, and the pull away from real relationships.
• Most importantly: how to pull your son back into real life.

Dr Sax published his first version of this book twenty years ago and the issues it described; falling male achievement, rising screen immersion, AI companions, and collapsing couple relationships, are accelerating rather than levelling off.

The habits and boundaries we choose while our sons are still at home may shape not just his grades, but his ability to form healthy relationships, be a good partner and father, and build a life he cares about in the real world.

If you’re worried about an unmotivated, gaming-obsessed, or emotionally flat son, this conversation will give you clarity, language, and concrete steps you can start using today.

Don’t forget to share this with anyone who is struggling with the issues or who might find it helpful.

Link to my Substack where you can find all of the notes and a handy PDF cheat sheet for parenting

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Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: 

My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

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