Episode Details

Paul says his Higher Power has a substation in his computer: after working AA's Twelve Steps for nearly thirty years, he types his problems to God until an intuitive answer begins to appear.

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Paul opens this AA talk by making the room hug, then turns to the balance he believes keeps alcoholics sober: meetings and the Twelve Steps together. He describes attending meetings while continuing to drink for seven months, quitting every morning, and living like a tour bus with no driver while different voices in his head took turns making decisions. Through the Steps, those voices began communicating, and Paul learned to use powerlessness as relief instead of defeat. He explains why Step Three must lead immediately into inventory, why every later Step deepens the ones before it, and why he has repeated the full process roughly every five years. Along the way, Paul shares the four-column inventory guides he helped develop, writing his first inventory in code, finally taking a Fifth Step at a San Diego convention, using spot inventories for marriage and money, and typing letters to God when he needs an intuitive answer. He talks about accepting the defects his Higher Power has not removed, forgiving people without pretending to like them, and viewing recovery as a baseball diamond stretching from physical to spiritual sobriety. After nearly thirty years, his focus is emotional sobriety: if somebody else's behavior is not worth taking a drink over, Paul asks, why reward it by becoming so upset?

Paul O. from Laguna Beach, CA speaking about working the Twelve Steps at the AA Desert Pow Wow in Indian Wells, CA - August 3rd 1996

Music: Deep by KaizanBlu