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The Psychology of Dying with Dr. Anya Schultz
Description
In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly, I talk with psychology professor Dr. Anya Schultz, who teaches a course on the Psychology of Death and Dying. Her classroom gives students permission to explore subjects many of us are taught to avoid, often leading them to question their assumptions about death, grief, funerals, and what it means to say goodbye.
Anya shares some of the exercises she uses with her students, including writing goodbye letters, imagining their own deaths, creating funeral programs and eulogies, and using the Go Wish card game to think about what matters most at the end of life.
We also talk about the expectations we place on grief and how easily those expectations can make someone wonder whether they are grieving “correctly.” Our conversation expands beyond death to the many other losses we experience throughout life—changes in relationships, identity, health, roles, and the future we thought we would have.
We explore why children benefit from honest, age-appropriate conversations about death rather than being completely shielded from it, and how the language adults use can shape a child’s understanding of loss.
Anya also shares how her own experiences with caregiving, motherhood, illness, and having a daughter with cystic fibrosis have influenced the way she approaches death and uncertainty.
Throughout our conversation, we come back to something at the heart of Seeing Death Clearly: talking openly about death isn’t only about preparing for the end of life. It can help us better understand loss and change, show up for the people we love, and think more intentionally about how we want to live while we’re here.
00:00 Societal Grief Scripts
00:18 Podcast Setup and Guest
02:26 Inside the Death and Dying Class
03:57 Aha Moments and Goodbye Letters
07:12 Real Feelings Versus Expectations
12:18 Grief Beyond Death
14:18 Talking to Kids About Death
17:52 Parenting With Illness Reality
22:15 Avoidance Religion and Meaning
26:39 Celebrating Life at Funerals
27:44 Why Rituals Matter
28:46 Funerals Are Evolving
29:38 Living Wakes and Parties
31:17 Grief Before Death
34:12 Caregiving Reality Check
35:55 Finding Beauty in Death
37:57 Life Cycles and Seasons
39:39 Students Plan Their Funerals
42:46 Death and Rebirth Meditation
45:38 Fears About the Process
46:43 Caregiver Worries and Illness
48:02 Closing and Contact Info
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