Episode Details

Gray divorce has exploded, with the divorce rate for people 50 and older more than doubling since 1990 and this age group now making up 40% of all divorces, up from just 8% in 1990, per Bowling Green State University research. Chalene Johnson breaks down why marriages that looked solid for decades are suddenly ending.

She unpacks a 2024 study on late in life divorce, the empty nest reckoning that leaves couples with nothing left to talk about, and how perimenopause and menopause change mood, libido, and patience enough to end a marriage nobody saw coming.

Then there's the gray affair. Chalene turns to relationship expert Esther Perel's research on why people in happy, decades-long marriages still stray, plus the surprising odds that a couple stays together after one is discovered.

Topics discussed: gray divorce, gray affair, Bowling Green State University, Esther Perel, empty nest, menopause, perimenopause, midlife crisis, betrayal trauma.

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🚨Questions Chalene Wants Your Thoughts on:

• Have you ever felt invisible inside your marriage?
• Has menopause changed anything in your relationship?
• Have you built silent resentment instead of speaking up?

Related Links:

• Email your Gray Divorce or Gray Affair story Promise to keep them anonymous 👉thechaleneshow@gmail.com
• Esther Perel's podcast 👉 "Where Should We Begin?"
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Chapters

00:00:00 — Intro tease: gray divorce and gray affair among couples married for decades

00:02:28 — Today's topic: gray divorce and gray affair defined, through Chalene's own 32-year marriage

00:04:17 — WTF stat: overall U.S. divorce rate falling since 1990, but not for 50+

00:04:50 — Bowling Green State University: divorce rate for 50+ doubled, 65+ tripled, now 40% of all divorces

00:05:51 — Most gray divorces are first marriages ending, not