Temptation, Benedictine Listening, and Remaining Rooted in God with Kris McGregor

About This Episode

What happens when something God has given us begins to stir fear, self-doubt, anxiety, or even pride?

In this episode of The Spiritual Journey for the Discerning Heart, Kris McGregor reflects on St. Hildegard of Bingen’s remarkable counsel to St. Elisabeth of Schönau. Elisabeth, herself a Benedictine nun and mystic, was troubled by what was happening around her spiritual experiences. One of the first lessons in her story is easy to miss: when she became concerned, she sought wise spiritual counsel rather than trying to discern everything alone.

That choice reflects the Benedictine roots shared by both women. The Holy Rule begins by calling the disciple to listen “with the ear of the heart.” Hildegard helps Elisabeth listen beneath the fear, excitement, anxiety, and temptation in order to recognize where each movement is leading. What comes from God draws the soul more deeply toward Christ, humility, freedom, and loving service.

Hildegard describes this spiritual battle through unforgettable images. God waters his instruments so that they may bear fruit, while the “ancient serpent” notices the beautiful jewel and tries to distort what God is doing. A genuine grace, blessing, prompting, or spiritual gift can become surrounded by spiritual pride, fear, or even false humility.

Her answer is discernment rooted in God. We are earthen vessels carrying a treasure that is not our own. We are trumpets that truly sound, but another supplies the breath. We are mirrors reflecting a light that did not begin with us.

Hildegard also gives a practical test: look at the fruit. Is what is happening making us more like Christ? Are we becoming more humble, gentle, teachable, and willing to serve? Or are we becoming increasingly preoccupied with ourselves, our importance, our fear, or our inadequacy?

Even Hildegard admits that she knows “fainthearted fear.” Her final prayer gives the listener a way forward:

“May God help me, so that I may remain in his service.”

Discerning Hearts Reflection Question

1. Has God given you something to do, a blessing, a spiritual gift, or a prompting that has also brought up fear, self-doubt, anxiety, or pride?
2. St. Elisabeth sought wise spiritual counsel when she became unsure about what she was experiencing. Is there something in your own life that would benefit from being brought into the light with a trusted spiritual director, confessor, or wise spiritual guide?
3. St. Benedict speaks of listening “with the ear of the heart.” When you listen beneath the strongest emotions surrounding a decision, what movement seems to be drawing you closer to Christ?
4. Hildegard tells us to look at the fruit. Is what you are carrying making you more humble, gentle, teachable, and willing to serve, or more focused on yourself, your reputation, your fear, or your inadequacy?

From St. Hildegard’s letter to Elisabeth of Schönau

I, a poor little creature and an earthen vessel, say these things not from myself, but from the serene light: A human being is a vessel that God has fashioned for himself and filled with his inspiration, so that he might accomp