Episode Details

What happens when you still love teaching, but you're no longer sure you can keep doing it?

For many music educators, burnout doesn't happen because they stopped caring. It happens because they care so much that they keep giving more: more time, more energy, more emotional capacity, and more of themselves.

Until eventually, there's not much left.

In this episode of Band Director Boot Camp, Lesley Moffat talks with educator and author Denisse Santos-Gooden about her new book, Why Good Teachers Quit and How Not To, and the difficult realities that push talented, dedicated educators toward the breaking point.

Denisse knows that experience personally. After 30 years in education, she began recognizing the physical and emotional signs that something needed to change. Her health was suffering. Her mind wouldn't shut off at night. Even after intentionally moving home to slow down, she found herself filling her life right back up again.

Sound familiar?

Lesley and Denisse dig into the guilt that so often accompanies saying no, especially for educators who have built their identities around helping other people. One of Denisse's most powerful reframes is that saying no doesn't simply mean something won't get done. Sometimes, your no gives someone else the opportunity to step up and develop their own talents.

They also talk about boundaries that sound simple but can feel incredibly difficult in practice:

No is a complete sentence.

Email is not an emergency.

You don't have to attend everything.

You can't save every student.

And caring about someone doesn't mean you have to carry the weight of their problems.

Denisse shares how she finally removed work email from her personal phone, became more intentional about what she agreed to do, and recognized that boundaries aren't selfish. They're what allow you to bring your best self to the things you actually choose to say yes to.

The conversation also explores the "teacher-martyr complex," toxic school cultures, compassion fatigue, perfectionism, and the physical warning signs we often ignore while convincing ourselves we can just keep pushing through.

For the educator who's already wondering whether it's time to leave, Denisse offers another important suggestion: before making the decision, remember why you started. Think about the students whose lives were different because you were there. Then find your people, because trying to navigate the hardest parts of this profession alone makes everything heavier.

Ultimately, sustainable teaching isn't about figuring out how to endure more.

It's recognizing that you are a person before you are a teacher.

Your students matter.

Your program matters.

The work matters.

But you matter, too.