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You Have No Best-Before Date: Jessica Holmes on Menopause, Mental Health and Moving at Your Own Pace
Description
Join me at this year’s National Menopause Show, October 17 and 18 at the International Centre in Mississauga. Go to https://nationalmenopauseshow.com/ and use code TRANSFORM45.
For years, Jessica Holmes built a career playing other people. Now, in midlife, she is discovering the freedom of becoming more fully herself.
In this episode of Transforming 45, Lisa and Jessica talk about the pressure Gen X women inherited to do everything, the fear of having a professional “best-before date,” and the identity shift that arrives when children leave home. Jessica shares the phrase guiding her life now: “I travel at the pace of my own well-being.”
Together, they explore why boundaries are not the same as abandoning community, how self-kindness changes with age, and why workplace well-being cannot be used as a bandage for unsafe systems. There is also a giant sun hat, a rebellious braless dog walk and a reminder that midlife liberation can be both meaningful and gloriously ridiculous.
In this conversation
Identity after years of performing for other people
Menopause, ageism and the myth of a professional expiration date
Empty-nest transitions and changing caregiving roles
Moving at the pace of your own well-being
Saying no without an apology essay
Self-care, community and the difference between boundaries and disconnection
Psychological safety and why resilience cannot fix harmful systems
Modelling a different relationship with achievement for young adults
If this episode connected with you, share it with the woman who needs permission to stop racing a clock she never chose.
Guest bio
Jessica Holmes is a celebrated Canadian comedian, speaker, author and mental health advocate. She has opened for Ellen DeGeneres, Jerry Seinfeld and Oprah Winfrey; performed with Just for Laughs and The Second City; and starred in The Holmes Show and Royal Canadian Air Farce. Her book, Depression The Comedy: A Tale of Perseverance, uses humour and honesty to explore resilience, mental health and joy.
Website: https://jessicaholmes.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happyfunholmes/
Chapters
00:45 – Meet Jessica Holmes: comedy, mental health and finding funny when life goes off-book
03:30 – From playing other people to learning to play yourself
04:23 – Empty-nest identity and having something hopeful to move toward
06:49 – The invisible backpack of work, motherhood and pressure
09:51 – Ageism and the myth of a professional best-before date
13:30 – “I travel at the pace of my own well-being”
18:08 – Comparison, rejection and running your own race
20:17 – The self-kindness that can arrive with age
21:20 – Practising no without over-explaining
24:18 – Self-care, service and community are not opposites
27:58 – UV clothing and the everyday rebellion of dressing for yourself
31:44 – What midlife parents can model for young adults
34:48 – Achievement, money and what actually supports well-being
38:13 – Psychological safety must come from leadership
42:55 – Why workplace well-being cannot be a bandage
44:05 – What makes Jessica feel most alive
Learn more about Lisa and Liberated Menopause:
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