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Healthy Boundaries and a United Front: Pesa Shayo on Mind Over Masculinity
Description
What if setting a boundary with your family doesn't have to mean dishonoring them? Host Sana talks with author Pesa Shayo about healthy boundaries in cross-cultural marriage, and why so many men carry pressure between their parents and their spouse.
Pesa shares a framework for sorting family decisions into three buckets, why remembering you're friends first matters more than winning an argument, and why protecting your marriage doesn't mean disrespecting your family of origin.
About the Guest:
Pesa Shayo is an author and co-founder of Live Your Best Marriage, and creator of The United Front Blueprint. Originally from Kenya, he has been married to his American wife for over 20 years, and draws on that marriage to help couples build unity against outside pressure.
Key Takeaways:
- Setting a boundary and honoring your parents are two different things, not opposites.
- Family decisions can be sorted into three buckets: yours alone, informed, or truly collective.
- Loyalty shifts from your family of origin to the family you're building together.
- Staying curious about a loved one's perspective defuses more than defending your position.
- Remembering you were friends before marriage helps hold everything else together.
Connect With Pesa Shayo:
Website (free United Front quiz): liveyourbestmarriage.com
Episode Chapters:
[00:00] Welcome to Mind Over Masculinity (approx.)
[02:00] Meet Pesa Shayo (approx.)
[06:00] Boundaries vs. Dishonoring Your Family (approx.)
[13:00] The Three Buckets of Family Decisions (approx.)
[22:00] When In-Laws and Spouses Disagree (approx.)
[30:00] Remembering You're Friends First (approx.)
[35:00] Where to Find Pesa (approx.)
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