Episode Details

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Episode Summary:

I live between two worlds. In the coaching world, the three day week is the trophy. In the rooms full of executives and business owners I spend time in, they wear an eighty hour week badge of honor. "I'm SO busy." This episode asks you to consider which story you have been telling yourself about rest and whether you chose it on purpose. Using the Self Coaching Model, Simon Sinek's distinction between finite and infinite games and the "who, not how" question from Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, we walk through what an entrepreneur must believe in order to grow a company that does not depend on their hours. I also share where I am in this myself, since so much of my self esteem has come from being productive and I am questioning that right now alongside my clients.

Key Takeaways:

The Belief Comes First:

• What you think creates what you feel, what you feel drives what you do and what you do creates your results
• If you believe growth requires every hour you have, you will never make the decisions that create time
• Bragging about exhaustion is a story, and the stories we repeat become the businesses we build
• The first question is whether you want to be working this much, and whether you chose it consciously

Finite Games and Infinite Games:

• A finite game has known players, fixed rules and a winner. A business built only to be sold is a finite game
• An infinite game has no finish line. Lego and Apple are still being played long after their founders stepped away
• At the University of Chicago every business plan required an exit strategy, and I never had one
• Speed and eighty hour weeks belong to the finite game. Lasting value and a full life belong to the infinite one

Ultra-Delayed Gratification:

• Entrepreneurs are exceptional at delaying gratification, which is why we hit our goals
• The same strength turns into "I'll rest at Christmas, after the hire, once the capital comes in"
• Look at your past milestones and ask whether the free time you were promised ever showed up
• Play and rest have to happen on the way to the goal, not after it

Your Value: 

• Your biggest contribution is the vision, selling it to the team, hiring the right people and creating an environment where they succeed
• Ask "who can do this?" before "how do I do this?"
• Starting the company does not make you the best person for every decision
• The need to feel needed keeps a business dependent on you long after it should be

What It Takes:

• Self awareness about your own behaviors and beliefs
• Difficult conversations and a willingness to look at blind spots
• Fewer priorities and clarity on where you add the most value
• Hard weeks will still happen. They are the exception, and the design decides that

Memorable Quotes:

"We don't act rationally. We are emotional beings, and then we use our reason to justify our actions."

"Nobody's going to win the best lived life award."

"If we start with the belief that it's impossible to grow a successful business while having a lot of free time, we are not going to take the actions and make the hard calls that lead to freedom."

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