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What if the woman you're waiting to be isn't coming?

That isn’t because you're incapable of being her. Not at all.

But because you were never supposed to wait for her in the first place.

I'm recording this episode exhausted, emotional and still trying to process what happened last week at the very first Be You Now, my identity reinvention event for founders and business owners.

Six months ago, I was still employed full-time, carrying huge responsibility in that role and preparing for surgery on an arm that had already been broken for 9 months.

And on Friday, I stood on a stage in London at an event I'd created, teaching my own frameworks and intellectual property, surrounded by extraordinary speakers, partners and a room full of people who had trusted me enough to buy a ticket and be part of it.

The really fucking mad part?

Be You Now went from launch to event in just over six weeks.

And somewhere in the aftermath, I realised something.

I wasn't simply teaching identity reinvention on Friday. I was living and breathing it.

Be You Now was one enormous Identity Experiment. And I was my own evidence.

The problem with Future Her

I love a bit of future-self work, don’t get me wrong.

Visualisation. Rehearsal. Imagining the woman you want to be, the business you want to build and the life you want to live.

But the problem is that we can make Future Her so damn separate from who we are now that she becomes another destination.

When I earn more, I'll be her.

When I'm more confident, I'll be her.

When I've healed, I'll be her.

When I've got the qualification, I'll be her.

When somebody invites me onto the stage, I'll be her.

When somebody else tells me I'm ready...

Then…

And meanwhile, we wait.

But your Designed Future Self isn't going to ring your doorbell one random day next summer and announce that she's finally arrived.

You don't arrive at an identity. You build one.

And you build it through evidence.

Friday became a living demonstration of that idea.

Throughout Be You Now, we explored identity through health, success, nervous-system regulation, money, boundaries, visibility, business, self-recognition and the willingness to actually act on what we know.

Because you can understand every single one of your patterns.

And still keep doing the same fucking thing.

Awareness isn't transformation until it becomes behaviour.

Identity changes when you make a different decision.

When you uphold a different standard.

When you send the email.

Say no.

Say yes.

Raise the price.

Apply for the thing.

Eat your fucking lunch.

Let somebody help you.

Or, apparently, create your first event in six bloody weeks.

And apparently, I have another Identity Gap...

Because I'm not teaching any of this from some imaginary identity mountaintop.

Friday showed me my own next piece of work.

Receiving. I explain my own gap in the episode!

So where is YOUR Identity Gap?

You probably already know a lot about the person you want to be.

The question is, where aren't you being them?

Maybe you want to lead like a CEO, but you're still operating like an overwhelmed employee.

Maybe you want to be known, but you're hiding.

Maybe yo