Episode Details

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Eight towels. Two blankets. Zero Amazon gift cards.

That's what my husband came home with after I asked him to do one thing.

So here's my question for you: how would you have responded in that moment?

Most people go one of three ways. Laugh it off. Snap and say "I asked you to do ONE thing." Or start diagnosing your spouse with weaponized incompetence and building a whole story around it.

I would have picked the middle one four years into my marriage. Not anymore.

Because one fight about towels won't end a marriage. It's the rupture that happens over and over and never gets repaired. That's what breaks people apart.

In this episode I walk through what I actually did instead, and why "if you don't have anything nice to say" might be the most underrated marriage advice in the South.

Then we get into Solving Marriage Mysteries. A woman whose husband just filed for divorce while they're still living in the same house with five kids, and she can't figure out how to stay calm. A man standing for his wife who is deep in limerence and just went through an abortion, asking if there's any hope left. And a wife whose husband wants a separation while they're having the best sex of their marriage, wondering if she's about to be used.

Those answers are honest. Some of them are hard.

After that we open Luke 9:23 through 26 in Study Scripture With Me. The disciples had a very specific expectation of who the Messiah was supposed to be. Jesus was about to disappoint every bit of it. And what he offered instead was better than anything they had imagined.

Deny yourself. Take up your cross daily. Follow me.

That's not a group assignment. In the original Greek it's personal. Singular. Yours.

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.

The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."

We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.

If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.

New episodes every Thursday.

Don't just exist. Show up.

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