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Hey Olivia, how do I stop sleeping with my spouse now that we're separated?
Description
"Since my husband and I separated, we keep ending up back in bed together. It's not planned. It just happens." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia answers one of the most common — and least talked about — parts of separation: continuing to sleep with a spouse you've split from, and why it's so much harder to stop than it sounds.
Olivia covers:
- Why this is one of the most common things that happens during separation, even though almost no one admits it out loud
- The real chemical bonding that comes with physical intimacy with someone familiar, regardless of where things stand emotionally
- Why keeping this private isn't shame — it's often just protecting yourself from managing other people's reactions
- Why the "setback" feeling afterward isn't confusion, it's clear information: the body wants comfort, growth wants distance, and both are true at once
- Why structural changes work better than willpower alone — limiting alone time, meeting in public, having a plan for loneliness
- How to get specific about whether the craving is for that person, or for touch and closeness in general
- Why deciding your boundary on a calm day beats deciding it in a lonely moment
"Your body wants comfort. Your growth wants distance. Both are true."
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